Understanding Women

I was listening to an FM radio station on my way to work this morning, when I heard the DJ express perplexity over women's behaviors. His wife's Glamour magazine arrived, and he, thinking it was a sweet gesture, encircled pictures of dresses that he thought would look good on her. When the wife got home and saw what he did, she got upset and started yelling, " What's wrong with the way I dress? You don't think I look good in the clothes I wear?"

I started laughing when I heard it, but then realized I'm also guilty of acting that way sometimes! Although I think of myself as a rational and logical person (at least most of the time, and at work or I'll get fired), there are instances when emotions rule my actions, and logic goes out the window. Especially, when dealing with Fiance (Aahh, the things love do to women!). And most especially... during that time of the month!

Case in point...

Him: Babe, can I call you back in a few minutes?
Me: Why?
Him: I'm in the middle of my P90X workout.
Me (upset): Fine! Bye!
Him: Talk to you later, I love you, babe!

30 minutes later, my phone rings ...

Me: So, are you done with your oh-so-precious workout and had finally found the time to talk to me?

Another scenario...

Me: Honey, did you make something for dinner tonight?
Him: I just got out of the gym.
Me: But you got the whole day off, and you knew I'm coming over!
Him: Well, there's still a lot of time. I'll make us some. Do you want chicken or fish?
Me: Never mind.
Him: No, seriously, I'm going to make us dinner.
Me (pouting): No, don't worry anymore. You would have done it earlier if you really wanted to.

Well, today that I'm rational, I can understand why most men (and Fiance for that matter) find women (myself included) to be complex creatures. We have a tendency to overreact and say something else when we mean another! Unlike men, a lot of women's decisions and ideas are governed by emotions. Our minds and hearts are not always in sync, and we let our hearts rule even at times when we know better! (Add hormones to the equation, and we become a mess!)

Deep down though, it all boils down to one thing: we know our men care but we want them to show that they care... by doing things without us asking, and by paying attention to the little details about us.

Jennifer Aniston spoke for a lot of women when she told Vince Vaughn in the movie Break-Up, "I want you to WANT to do the dishes [not because I asked you to]".

Because as illogical as it sounds, that's how it feels that he cares.

And because, as women, that's what we'd do for the men we love.

My Solemn Vow

Warning: this post is going to be mushy and sentimental, so if you're not that kind of person, you can turn around now. (",)

For our wedding ceremony, Fiance and I have decided to say our own vows. So far, this is what I've came up with. It's still a work in progress, so suggestions are welcome!

"Honey, I love you very much. You're my partner, my lover and my bestfriend. I love you as I've never loved anybody in my life before. I will be honest and say that I can't promise that I will always be in a good mood, that all our days will be sunny and wonderful, or that our life together will be perfect. There will be days when you'll be irritated or mad at me for the things I will or will not do, and I'm sure, vice versa.

But I promise you this. Whatever you and I will go through - good or bad - I will always love you, and will never leave you. I promise that I will give you the respect you deserve, be there when you need me, and cherish and love you till our dying days.

On this day, as I take you to be my husband, I promise to walk every step of the journey with you . On this day, in front of our family and friends, I promise you, all of me.

This is my solemn vow. "

You Know You're Loved When...

...your guy would endure watching Bride Wars with you with the littlest complaints!

Since it was snowing pretty bad yesterday, there was really nothing much to do except go to the movie theater. We've seen most of the good movies already (Valkyrie - watch it, tragic ending but really good! Marley and Me - funny and so heartwarming!) and I was kinda curious about Bride Wars (it looked funny and is in time with my wedding planning), so I asked Fiance to watch it with me. The movie however, completely sucked (for lack of a better word) that I felt bad dragging him to it! The funny parts were already in the previews, and truthfully, I was appalled by how the women were portrayed in the movie! I know I should have expected it even before I came in (it was in the trailer), and it's a movie (so of course, it's exaggerated)... but still! Do women really act that way about weddings? Do their whole lives revolve around getting engaged and when they do, about the whole wedding planning? Would they ditch long time friends just because of bridal rivalry?

I've been engaged for 3 months now (read it here), but if you noticed, I've only mentioned my wedding plans once. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY excited to get married, but I'm not much into elaborate wedding plannings and I really just wanted a small and intimate wedding with only the people closest to me as witnesses . I feel it's more romantic to say your vows that way! I also honestly don't care if my table linens don't match every single decoration or if the arrangement of my bouquet is not perfect (maybe, I'm not a normal woman?). All I really wanna make sure is that I have a wedding venue and a reception area, I look pretty in my dress, my groom didn't ran away and the people I love are there to celebrate with us. I'll still have most of the traditional wedding things (I'll give you an update on one of my succeeding posts)- a white dress, a cake, a maid of honor, wedding songs and floral arrangements, but I won't have a big entourage and hundreds of guests. I told Fiance this the day we got engaged, and the guy was only too happy to agree!

Having said that, I'll sheepishly admit that I will actually be having two different wedding ceremonies (not my decision, but I'm only too happy to oblige) - a chapel wedding here in the US which is intended for his families (May 16, 2009), and a beach wedding in the Philippines for mine (Jan 5, 2010). Both are small - with around 30 guests each -but what's better than having two weddings, right? My parents volunteered (actually, I volunteered them!) to take care of our beach wedding, so that's one less thing to worry about. All I have to do is describe what I want, and say Yes or No to their suggestions. (I love you, Mom and Dad!)

Anyway, the best part of watching Bride Wars was afterwards, when Fiance and I were going home, he kissed me and said, " I thank God everyday, for giving me such a beautiful, sweet and SENSIBLE woman." (",)

Murphy's Law

Imagine this scenario.

You knew the economy is not doing too well, but you're somehow still hoping to get a pay raise. After all, you had a breakthrough with the research project you're doing and you had a glowing performance review saying you Exceed Expectations. The raise would be helpful with your wedding and trip expences so you're very hopeful about it. But you came to work that day (the first pay day of the year), saw your pay statements and realized it's still the same. Being an optimist, you consoled yourself by saying you should just be thankful, you're luckier than a lot of people, since at least, you still have a good job.

You then decided to start an experiment, but for some reason, the darn lab equipment won't cooperate with you! You tried all kinds of troubleshooting you knew, but still... no luck. You gave up and decided to do something else.

At the end of the day, you're so tired, all you wanted do was go home and relax.

However, since it's the weekend, you wanted to spend time with your fiance. The guy can't drive to your house since you have a cat and he's allergic to it, so you didn't have any option but to drive to his. As you start driving, the snow began to fall heavily. Halfway through, you got stuck in traffic, driving at 5 miles per hour! You began to feel really cranky.... in the first place, you're very tired, and now, you're starving as well! On top of that, you suddenly had a very strong urge to go the bathroom (since you stupidly drank a whole cup of tea an hour earlier)! But since you wanted to get home as soon as possible (the weather was predicted to get even worse as the day goes by), you decided not to stop by at a gas station. After two hours of hellish driving (on a normally 45 minute drive), you're finally at your fiance's house. You're ready to have dinner but he's still at work, so you just rummaged through his refrigerator looking for something... anything... to eat. The darn guy, however, haven't done his grocery shopping yet, and had nothing on hand! So you sat there, watched TV and waited. 30 minutes later, he called to say he's on his way home... but was stuck in traffic! You couldn't wait any longer, so you braved the snowstorm again, and drove to the nearest Subway (which was actually just a block away, thank God!) to buy dinner! On your way home, you saw Blockbuster and decided, you might as well rent a movie! It turned out... the movie was a waste of an hour and a half of your life!

Oh yes, that was my day yesterday!

"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way." ~ Murphy's Law.

Well, at least, today is a new day!

What's in a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Seriously, what's in a name? Particularly last names?

Okay, I love my first name (No, its not really Chloie... close to it, though). It sounds pleasant, easy to pronounce and it's not too common.

My last name? Well... not that much, but it never really bothered me. It sounds perfectly normal and that was enough. When I was young, I've always thought of last names as names that were there just for the sole purpose of identifying whose ancestors and family you belong to. And sure, that's important, (and apparently VERY important to Romeo and Juliet's families), but... who cares how it sounds? Not too many people call me by it (except my terror grade school teacher whenever she catches me in my usual troublemaker self!). And I knew, as a girl, I won't hold on to it that long, since when I get married, I'd change it to that of my husband's.

That is... with a fair amount of hope that my would-be-husband's last name won't sound so bad!

Like a lot of women (come, on admit it!), whenever I'd date a guy and it's starting to become serious, I'd try to see how his last name sounds next to my first one. It's usually out of curiosity and just for the fun of it! Unfortunately, I seem to be cursed with dating men who have terrible-sounding last names, that I started to be concerned! I once dated a guy whose last name was Tootle and as much as I didn't care about family names, his was enough to make me hesitate about getting serious. Chloie Tootle? That just didn't sound right! But he's hot, smart and charming, so I said, what the heck, I can't be that shallow! Eventually though, I did break up with him - not because of his last name, I swear! - but because of other reasons.

And it didn't end there. I dated other guys with lame last names, but... since I wasn't in love, it wasn't really a big deal.

But now, here I am, engaged to the love of my life, who is attractive in every aspect except in the last name department! Well, it's not as bad as Tootle (or maybe it is, depending on who you ask), but... it's the name of a part of the body! Seriously! Where the heck did his ancestors get the idea that body parts are wonderful last names? I can just imagine the teasings that my future kids would most likely go through! Fiance told me himself, his classmates gave him hell when he was in grade school.

But... to show how much he loves me, Fiance is giving me the option of keeping my maiden name, doing the combined hyphenated version or changing to his last name, and is letting me decide what will make me happy. Well, of course, I'm changing to his! Isn't the concept of marriage sharing everything (",)? (Hhmmm... maybe I should ask him to change to mine, but then again, that might be pushing too far!)

Anyway, I wholeheartedly love the guy, so even if he has the worst last name on Earth, I still won't hesitate to marry him!

Besides, like I said earlier, what's in a name... right?

(And to be honest, I really don't care! I actually thought it's kinda funny.)

PS. Can you, guys, guess what his last name is?

Cohabitation vs. Marriage

A co-worker asked me yesterday if Fiance and I live together. When I told her 'No', the surprise on her face was evident. "But... aren't you engaged?"

Yes, Fiance and I are engaged, but I don't have any plans of moving in with him until we have made our vows of 'till death do us part' official!

I'm not a prude, nor am I trying to be moralistic. I know that cohabitation, nowadays, is becoming the norm among other young people. I don't have anything against those who do. I hardly think it's immoral, and I don't go around judging peoples' characters based on their beliefs. We're all entitled to our own opinions and that's the beauty of freedom and democracy in this country.

Personally though, I don't believe in cohabitation. I'm a black-and-white type of person, and living together, for me, just seems so gray. It's a half-baked commitment. It's like dipping one foot into the pool and calling it swimming, when in reality, you're just 'testing the waters'. You don't wanna put both feet in, in case it's too cold/hot and would need to get out easily. Same applies to living together. It's basically a trial marriage. You share your life with somebody and do all the things married couples do, but without the ties that permanently bind the two of you together. So, in case things don't work out, it's easier to break free.

And therein lies the problem. When you decide to just live together, you're entering a relationship built on the notion that it's a trial, and there's a possibility that it might not work! With this kind of mindset, it most probably wont!

(If you're ready to share your life with somebody - somebody that you chose wisely- why can't you take the full plunge?)

One of my bestfriends actually tried to convince me a couple of times to live with BA before marrying him. Her argument was that you won't really know the person until you live with him. Under the same roof. Seeing each other 24/7 (or, at least everyday). The real him, as well as you, will only show when you've been living together in a single house. So why not do a test drive first?

Honestly, I agree with her on the 'knowing the person' part - 100%. But let's say, I do just that. I'd agree to live with BA. A year later, I'd realize, a number of his habits utterly annoy me. What then? Should I break free because I can't deal with them?

When you're just living together, that's easy to do. Just pack up your bags and leave. So most probably, you'd do just that. But when you're married, it's a different story. You have to get a divorce, change your name back to your maiden name, deal with legal issues and so on and so forth. So, you'd probably think twice and try to work it out instead. Aside from that (or more than that), you made a vow to love the other person for better or worse - and if you're like me, that means something - so you might decide to to honor that.

Actually, a number of people who cohabitate do end up getting married. The sad part is that statistically (at least in the US), 50% of those marriages end up in divorce.

And the reason?

When you enter a trial relationship, you don't usually commit yourself completely to that person. Part of you has a hidden fear of getting hurt if it doesn't work, so you hold yourself back a little. The problem is, even if you do get married eventually, you'd probably still carry that fear in your head without realizing it, thus contributing to the demise of your marriage.

I believe that living together is a really big step. It's a step towards literally sharing every aspect of your life with somebody. It's the beginning of another chapter of your life. And as old fashioned as it sounds, it's a chapter that, I personally believe, should begin with official vows of starting your life together and staying together forever.

The truth is, the independent part of me harbors a slight fear of getting married. (I'll elaborate later on another post). It's the ultimate form of commitment! There's no turning back and there's no absolute guarantee that it will work. But I do believe that I have found the guy I wanna share my life with, so it's a risk I'm willing to take. I won't have it any other way. I know sooner or later, BA and I will find things about each other that we won't like. (We already found some(",) ). But I know too, that for better or worse, he and I will exhaust all options before we even dare to contemplate giving it up. Because that's the promise that we will make and that's the vow that we will honor... for the rest of our lives.

That's the beauty of marriage.


This is my personal view. What's yours?

Bride-to-be Fever

I finally caught the bride-to-be fever.

Although I was ecstatic when I got engaged, I don't think it really sunked in that I would actually be a bride. And that, as a bride, I have to do so much planning and organizing.

And I never thought it would be this much fun!

When I was young, I knew (or at least hoped) that I'd find the right guy and get married eventually, but I never really thought of my wedding day way ahead. I know some women did, but I never pretended to be a bride when I was a kid, nor have I tried to visualize how my wedding would be in the future. I guess, I was afraid that I would jinx it or something. In my mind, it will happen when it happens.

And now that it is, all I can say is... nothing beats the feeling. I swear, I'm far from becoming a bridezilla, but all these wedding planning is making me feel so excited!! It takes a lot of work, but it's worth it!

Anyway, I'm done with the first step: finding The Dress .

Last weekend, I went to David's Bridal and tried on several wedding gowns. (I felt like I was doing a fashion show!) There are way too many that caught my eyes! But same as what people say about Mr Right, you'll know which dress is for you the moment you laid eyes on it. True enough, when I saw mine, I just fell in love! I knew it was the one (",). It was perfect for my beach wedding. My sister, who was with me, as well as the consultant and other people in the store, all agreed.

I don't wanna post the actual dress (BA might see it and it could be bad luck), but the style's kinda similar to this one...





And with regards to the wedding ceremony itself, this is how I envision it would be...

I am Blessed

I am so blessed. Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder why I’d been so lucky. True, I’d been through a lot, and had to work hard for some of the things I wanted (career-wise and financially), but I still can’t believe it’s possible to be this blessed. Especially with the people in my life.

So, in the spirit of thanksgiving, I wanna thank God (and the following people) for all my wonderful blessings.

Fiance. He’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. He’s my Mr. Right. He’s gorgeous, smart, sweet, passionate and very patient (which, my Mom says, is an important trait if a guy wanna stay with me (“,) ). I’ve always thought finding a man, who helps with the household chores, doesn’t have any vice or addiction (does addiction to working out counts?) and spoils me rotten, is like finding a needle in a haystack … but God gave him to me! I’ve never been happier and more grateful. I love you, Honey, and thanks for everything you've done for me!

My parents. The best parents anyone can ask for. They loved me unconditionally and with all their hearts. They guided me to the right path and supported me every step of the way. Mom and Pops, I have what I have and I became what I became, all because of you. I love you.

Sis. This year’s Thanksgiving celebration will be a happy and meaningful one for me, since my longtime dream of spending it with her (and eventually everyone in my family), will finally come true. We are the closest of sisters. We talk on the phone almost every single day. I’m so proud of her and so thankful for having her as a sister.

Bro. I miss him so. He’s on his mid-twenties but I still think of him as my baby brother. He’s got a good heart and a wonderful personality. He confides in me, even girl troubles, as we can talk about anything. I’m looking forward to next year when I’ll see him and my parents again.

My in-laws-to-be. They’ve made me feel welcome, at home, and close to a family again. For a while, all I felt during Holidays are pangs of homesickness for being so far away from my own family, but meeting them brought back the joys of Christmas season!

My friends. They’ve been with me through thick and thin. Thank God for great friends! My transition to an independent woman was easier because they were there. I don’t know how I’d have survived break-ups and dark moments without them. Special mention to friends who are closest to my heart … CT, my college best friend who’s the purest soul I’ve ever met , JR and OS who made my graduate school life more bearable and more colorful; and MD and EA who never get tired of listening to my rants and raves. You guys are the true definition of BFFs!

My career. With the current state of US economy, I’m sure most people are thankful to just have a job. I am, too, but more than that, I’m thankful for having a job that allows me to find ways to enrich peoples’ lives (through technology), and somehow make a difference in this world. Well… I love to believe so (“,)

I thank God for all that I am. For the way I was put together. For all the things that I own. For all the places that I’ve been. For all the people I have met. For all the moments I’ve been through – good or bad, it made me the person I am today. For bringing me into this world.

I thank God for all my blessings.

Happiest Day

I don't believe in love at first sight. Love takes time to blossom and flourish. Love is when you know the person, really know him and accept him for everything he is - flaws and all. Love just don't magically happen the first time two people meet.

Attraction at first sight however, is a different story. Attraction is what brings two people together. It has to be there, right from the very moment you meet, for love to eventually ignite.

I was attracted to him the first time I saw him.

It was exactly a year ago, during the hiking meet-up that I go to every month. He wore a blue shirt, a Michigan cap and a beautiful smile. I was intrigued.

Through some random twist of fate (or maybe not), we and two other guys, ended up walking together. We went through the normal routine of introducing ourselves, talking about the weather, and giving out bits and pieces of information about ourselves. At first, we were part of a group, but as the hike progressed, the world began to center around the two of us (well, that's what it felt, at least). Even when the whole hiking troupe regrouped a couple of times, the two of us still ended up walking together (he never left my side ;-) ). At the end of the 3-hour hike, we have covered every topic of conversation there is to cover. I've never felt comfortable with anybody as I did with him. As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like we've known each other forever. The attraction between us was palpable and the chemistry was completely undeniable. There was no doubt in my mind that he'd ask for my number before the hike was over. And sure enough he did.

Five hours later, he called and asked me out.

Five days later, we had our first date.

And since then, we're inseparable.

So inseparable in fact... and very much in love... that yesterday, we decided to spend the rest of our lives together...

BA gave me a bouquet of roses for our anniversary.

Then, with this beautiful ring...

... he asked me to marry him!

Of course, I said YES!

Of Dreams and Fairy Tales

I’ve always been a dreamer. As a kid, I had visions of what my life would be in the future, which school I would get into, how my dream house would look like, which places I would explore, etc. I had no doubt in my mind that all my dreams would come true. All I needed was determination and hard work.

Career wise, they came true. I studied my butt off when I was young, and as a result, got into the only college university I wanted to get into, was offered a teaching position after college graduation, got into a US graduate school and had a job waiting for me two months before I got my degree.

My love life though, was an entirely different story.

Even though I was raised in an environment where ‘you-don’t-need- a-prince-to-rescue-you-since-you-can-rescue-yourself’ philosophy was constantly instilled in my mind, the dreamer in me dreamed of living a fairy tale life. I dreamed that I would meet my Prince Charming at a certain age, be each other’s first and only love, get married and live happily ever after. I wasn’t prepared however, to the fact that dealing with love life and dealing with career are two different stories. Hard work and determination’s got nothing to do with love.

I reached my planned age without falling in love. It was a couple of years later that I did. And I was happy. I thought, this was it, the realization of my fairy tale. To my naive heart, he was almost perfect… Tom Cruise look-alike, lawyer-to-be, sweet (or at least, sweet talker), and seemingly in love with me.

Until his one unforgivable mistake.

I was crushed. Coupled with the pain of betrayal, I mourned what I realized was the death of my fairy tale story… I would never be married to my first love. This was definitely not how I pictured the ending to be.

But Survivor Me moved on and Dreamer Me re-wrote my fairy tale. Guided by the cliché, ‘you have to kiss several frogs before you meet your prince,’ I met, dated and kissed a number of frogs in my journey to meet my prince. And boy, what a journey! Wrapped up in my fairy tale and armed with a slightly jaded heart, I found it hard to fall for anybody less than perfect, or who showed the slightest indication to cause me pain. I dumped guys for silly reasons, or for fear of getting hurt. There was that cute guy who’s personality is as dry as dust. Or that rich guy with a convertible car and a jacuzzi at his big house but has curly hair. Or that guy who drives a Lexus SUV and completely insane about me but can’t have kids. And then, there was the guy who I liked tremendously but broke up with before the relationship had the chance to grow - for fear of becoming a rebound girl! With each dating mishap, I plummeted deeper and deeper into the abyss that was my lovelife. In the midst of it though, love found its way into my jaded heart, and I fell for a great yet completely wrong-for-me guy. He’s got an amazing personality but our world’s too different that we’re forced to let the relationship go.

That’s when reality struck me in the head.

There’s no such thing as a fairy tale.

Then, a couple of years later, I met BA. I won’t say he’s perfect, but he’s perfect for me and I love him for everything he is. He’s gorgeous, smart, adorable, genuinely sweet, and completely in love with me. We fit each other like two peas in a pod. I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore but if I still do, he'd certainly be the prince.

On my birthday, he gave me a card that mirrored exactly how I felt for him, "Because of you, the world’s brand new. Because of you, I am too."

As we seriously plan the next chapter of our lives, the dreamer in me can’t help but think… maybe, just maybe, fairy tales do exist.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a storybook ending, afterall.

Without Him

BA and I had an argument the other night. It wasn't a big fight, but being the drama queen and the long-term relationship neophyte that I am, I thought that was the end of us. I spent an hour bawling my eyes out, imagining my life without him. It's depressing. I finally admitted what independent Me had been denying for a while... I need him and I don't wanna live my life without him. Life just won't be the same. I'd be miserable. I'd miss too many things.

I'd miss how he'd hold my hand and kiss it. I'd miss his intoxicating smell, his beautiful smile and those deep-set eyes. I'd miss his every day phone calls and 'I love you's'. I'd miss his comforting hugs and passionate kisses. I'd miss running my fingers through his hair. I'd miss being spoiled and being pampered. I'd miss his silliness and sense of humor. I'd miss his passionate laments about US economy and his rants about the government.

It's too long a list if I go on. Suffice it to say, I'd miss him and our love.

I got a phone call right after I got out of the shower the next morning. Apparently, he felt the same.

Mr. Right

"Its funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love while at the back of our minds we know that the one person we truly love will always be an exception." - Ally Mc Beal

In a way, I agree with Ally Mc Beal. We can't really help who we fall in love with. We set all these criteria yet in the end, fall for a person who was completely the opposite. There are some people however, who are lucky enough to fall in love with the person they've always dreamed of. I consider myself as such.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a list of the qualities I want in my Mr. Right. Years later, I fell in love with a guy who possesses 95% of it.

• Has gorgeous eyes that seem to light up when I enter the room


• Has a smile that makes my heart skip a beat


• Has great passion for me


• Doesn't have bad vices


• Can make me laugh and cheer me up when I'm feeling blue
  


• Someone I can talk to about anything - whether deep or superficial issues


• Has similar interests… especially traveling and hiking


• We complement each other in a way that feels like we're two peas in a pod


• Someone who knows when to be serious and when to be silly


• Knows how and when to take charge


• Someone who'll stand by my side and support me


• Open to compromise


• Dependable yet allows me to be independent


• Sensitive to my needs


• Honest and forthright


• Brings out the sexual vixen in me


• Driven to succeed in every aspect of life


• Makes me feel safe and comfortable, yet brings out my adventurous side


• Gives me personal space and time whenever I need it


• Can be relied upon to do what he says he will do


• Believes in himself and makes me believe in him


• Open-minded and respectful of my beliefs.

Lets Talk About Love

I can’t help but smile whenever I see an old couple walking hand in hand.

Call me hopeless romantic, but in this uncertain world where unstable relationships abound and break-ups are everyday occurrences, seeing an old, loving couple holding hands gives me hope. Hope that not all relationships are as fragile as they seem to be nowadays. Hope that some people can love each other forever and relationships can last a lifetime. Hope that even though relationships take hard work, love conquers all. And hope that I would be one of those few who have that one-of-a-kind LOVE that will stand the test of time.

I fell in love for the first time when I was 24. So in love (or so I thought, but it might just the novelty of first love) that when my relationship ended in betrayal of trust, I was devastated. I felt so hurt and betrayed that even after I started dating other guys, I found it hard to fall again. I was too scared of getting hurt that I kept every guy I dated at arm’s length. I became a serial dater who was too much of a coward to commit. At the first signs of complication, I’d break it off and ran away. In the midst of it all however, there was one guy who patiently guided me out of my shell and taught me to love and trust again. But love has a twisted sense of humor. Just as I was falling in love, life circumstances forced us to let go of the relationship turning me back into the slightly jaded woman I once were.

Then I met BA. I don’t know how or why but for the first time in my life, I felt that I could just throw caution in the wind and let loose. As cheesy as it sounds, I felt that I could fall and he’d catch me. The first time I met him, I knew it was going to be different. Don’t ask me why, I just knew and felt it. So I threw caution in the wind, let loose and fell in love. I never had any regrets. It was everything I hoped for. It made me realize that what I felt before him were puppy loves. Our relationship had been mostly happiness. I won’t call it perfect, but it’s darn well near one. Although there are times when my ‘trust issues’ would resurface, he reassures me so well it becomes impossible not to have faith in our love. We do have petty arguments from time to time, but they never lasted more that 5 minutes. He’s one of the most wonderful guys I’ve ever known. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for. Yesterday, as he was fixing my bike and teaching me patiently how to ride it (I’m pathetic, I know!), I was actually overcame with feelings of amazement at what a superb guy he is. I don’t have a formula for creating a successful relationship, but I know that there would be that one person who makes you feel like you two fit each other like a glove, and things between you just feel right. That’s how I feel with BA.

A month from now, we’ll be celebrating our anniversary. Lately, whenever we talk about spending the rest of our lives together, I realized that I now look forward to it without an ounce of fear, only with hope… hope that several years from now, we would be that old loving couple still walking hand in hand...