Friday, October 30, 2009

Baby Fever

Why is it that the more you want something, the more elusive it seems to you?

I've never wanted something in my life before as much I do now.

I desperately wanted to have a baby.

My husband and I have been trying for five months now, and so far we haven't had any luck. I know I should just relax and wait patiently, but as much as I try, I couldn't. It's easier said than done. I go through a roller coaster emotion of having so much hope, and then feeling crushed whenever I realize it's not happening that month. And then, as if the world wants to taunt me for wanting it, I see babies and pregnant mothers everywhere. My co-worker's wife is expecting twins, my friend in Michigan just gave birth, and even my teenage cousin, who's definitely not ready to have a baby, is having an accidental pregnancy.

And as time goes by, I become more and more worried and scared. I go through a slight depression once a month when I get my womanly thing. But...I won't give up. I have faith that one day, he or she will come. Becoming a mother is really very important to me. I don't know how I'll react if I find out we can't have at least one child. In fact, as terrible as this might make me sound, I broke up with a guy I used to date when he confessed to me that he can't have kids. He understood though, and let me go. He and I knew that if I ended up with him, I might be happy in the short term, but I'd be unhappy in the long run. (Maybe this is my karma? Please God, no!) I just would never feel fulfilled. That's how motherhood means to me.

So my blog friends, please pray for for me and my husband. I need your prayers and support.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Simple Pleasures of Married Life

This morning, as I was getting ready to go to work, Hubby gave me a tight hug and a passionate kiss, and said:


Isn't he adorable? Hahaha...

Monday, October 26, 2009

Off to California in a Week...

A week from today, I'll be off to the lovely state of California! I'll be giving a talk at a four-day science conference in San Jose. I wish I can say I'm completely excited (I've never been to California before), but I'm a little bit nervous. I haven't given a serious talk since graduate school, so this is kinda nerve-wracking. Imagine giving a presentation to dozens of strangers! Plus, this is a business trip - I'll be traveling with my boss and I'm pretty sure we'd spend almost all our time at the conference hall, listening to other speakers and meeting future suppliers and customers.

But... I'm very happy and proud that my work have been acknowledged. It's times like this that makes all the harwork worthwhile.

And of course, since I'd already be there, I wouldn't miss the oppurtunity to see my childhood bestfriend, who I haven't seen in 19 years! We were practically kids when we've last seen each other. We've been talking of meeting up for several years now, but it has never materialized. Now, we can, and I'm very excited about it.

So California, here I come!

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm drooling...

This weekend, Hubby went to Michigan to see his family, and I stayed at home and hang out with my Mom who came here for a vacation. I dragged her to the movie theater to watch the movie 'Law Abiding Citizen', since the trailer looks good and I've been hearing wonderful reviews.

May I say...I wasn't disappointed at all. Granted that the movie was a little violent - okay, maybe too violent that I had to close my eyes during some bloody scenes - the plot however, was great and the whole movie was well-acted. I was taken by surprise with the ending, which says a lot, because that doesn't happen to me in a lot of movies.

And of course, Gerard Butler is freakin' hot!!! He's got a body to die for. (He showed his bare chest and butt in the movie!!!).

Case in point....

Hand me a tissue, please. I think I'm drooling ;-).

Friday, October 16, 2009

Say Hello...

... to an official homeowner!

Hubby and I signed our closing documents for our brand new house two weeks ago and moved in this past weekend. And may I say... it's one of the happiest month of my life! I'm so psyched and excited! I feel like I reached another milestone in my life... another check on my List of Dreams. It's times like these when I feel that all my hardwork has paid off, and every single tear and pain was worth it. And I feel so blessed.

Anyway, our house has two stories with four bedrooms and 2 and a half bath. Our master bath has a beautiful jacuzzi - how cool is that? All our bedrooms are upstairs, one of which we turned into an office/library. We have a big formal dining area and a beautiful kitchen with a small island that I wanted. The basement is not finished yet, but Hubs have an idea of dividing it into three areas - a spots bar, a work out room and a theater room with a big projector screen and recliner sofas. We also bought new furnitures to go with the new house, and I absolutely love them! We spent the whole week unpacking and decorating. In fact, we had all our boxes unpacked and the whole house looking like home in one week, it's almost unbelievable! I guess that's what excitement does to people.

Right now, I'm really just enjoying being a first-time homeowner!!!