When the closest experience you had of having a guy roommate is a one-week life with a friend who needed a temporary lodging, it takes a while to adjust to the concept of permanently sharing a house with someone. Of seeing that someone everyday of your life. Of asking for or being considerate of someone's opinion when it comes to household decisions. Even if that someone turns out to be... your husband.
I've lived alone and independently the last five years of my life. I had boyfriends (one at a time, of course) but I never lived with any of them. I had my own apartment and was happy being the queen of it. I go home whenever I want to, I cook whenever I feel like it, I do household chores whenever the mood strikes. A friend would call and ask me to meet him/her at the coffee shop, and off I'd go. I don't worry about sharing my bathroom or closet space with anybody. I don't worry about another person's taste in the apartment's decoration. In fact, as selfish as it sounds, when I'm home, I worry about nobody else but me.
Getting married and moving in together changed all that. But as much as I expected the changes, transitioning from a single life to a married one still caught me a bit off guard. I've been so used to living by myself that sometimes it doesn't register right away that not all the closet spaces are mine, that I can't just throw my clothes wherever I want to - even when I'm tired (because my husband is a cleanliness-freak), nor can I decorate my apartment with floral designs. I also do need to call my husband if I wanna work late or go out with my friends.
But more than house sharing, marriage is sharing a life together. That means I can't go spending all my money on clothes or leisurely travel on a whim anymore... because I have a future house and family to think of!
Sure, it takes only 15 minutes and a piece of paper to legally change your status from a single to a married lady, but it takes a few weeks, maybe months, for the i'm-a-married-woman-mindset to take effect!
But.... I wouldn't trade my life now for anything in the world. I felt that I've matured and officially became an adult. I'm learning to be a part of a couple, and I feel how it is to really belong. I'm learning to think more for the future that we (not just I) are planning to build. And believe it or not, I'm learning to be more domesticated. For some reasons, I'm starting to truly enjoy it. My husband makes it easier and more fun by sharing the household chores. And frankly, I coudn't wish for a better life than this!
Like most things in life, transition isn't always easy. But when you're blissful, it feels effortless.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
30 Things
Just in time for my fast approaching 30th birthday (in a couple of months), I found this article written by Pamela Satran way back in 1997 (Glamour Magazine). I read it and fell in love with it. Just wanna share it with you...
30 Things a Woman Should Have... and Should Know by the Time She's 30....
SHOULD HAVE
* one old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come. (I love to believe I do)
*enough money within your control to move out and rent a place of your own, even if you never want to or need to. (Check)
* something perfect to wear if the employer or the man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. (Always)
*a purse, suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying. (Check)
* a youth you're contented to move beyond. (Fine!)
* a past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age. (I think so!)
*the realization that you're actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it. (Working on it)
*a set of screw driver, cordless drill and a black lace underwear. (Check)
*one friend who always make you laugh and one who lets your cry. (Check)
*a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (Check)
*eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored. (Not really a good cook, so I'll pass ;-) )
* a resume that is not in the least bit padded. (Check)
*a feeling of control over your destiny. (A little bit)
* a skin regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30. (Kinda... if only I'd move my lazy butt more often to exercise)
*a solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those facets of life that do get better. (Check)
SHOULD KNOW
*how to fall in love without losing yourself. (Kinda... )
*how you feel about having kids. (Definitely)
* how to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. (still hazy on the last one)
*when to try harder and when to walk away. (Kinda)
* how to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next. (Heck, yeah!)
*how to have a good time at a party you'd never chose to attend. (Check)
* how to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it. (Check)
*that you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents. (Check)
* that your childhood may not have been perfect but it's over. (Unfortunately, yes.)
*what you would and wouldn't do for love or more. (Oh, yeah)
*how to live alone even if you don't like it. (I used to be Miss Independent)
*who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally. (still learning)
* where to go ( be it your bestfriend's kitchen or a charming inn hidden in the woods) when your soul needs searching. (Definitely!)
*what you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month or a year. (Check)
*why they say life begins at 30. (Check, check, check!)
30 Things a Woman Should Have... and Should Know by the Time She's 30....
SHOULD HAVE
* one old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come. (I love to believe I do)
*enough money within your control to move out and rent a place of your own, even if you never want to or need to. (Check)
* something perfect to wear if the employer or the man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. (Always)
*a purse, suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying. (Check)
* a youth you're contented to move beyond. (Fine!)
* a past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age. (I think so!)
*the realization that you're actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it. (Working on it)
*a set of screw driver, cordless drill and a black lace underwear. (Check)
*one friend who always make you laugh and one who lets your cry. (Check)
*a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (Check)
*eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored. (Not really a good cook, so I'll pass ;-) )
* a resume that is not in the least bit padded. (Check)
*a feeling of control over your destiny. (A little bit)
* a skin regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30. (Kinda... if only I'd move my lazy butt more often to exercise)
*a solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those facets of life that do get better. (Check)
SHOULD KNOW
*how to fall in love without losing yourself. (Kinda... )
*how you feel about having kids. (Definitely)
* how to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. (still hazy on the last one)
*when to try harder and when to walk away. (Kinda)
* how to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next. (Heck, yeah!)
*how to have a good time at a party you'd never chose to attend. (Check)
* how to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it. (Check)
*that you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents. (Check)
* that your childhood may not have been perfect but it's over. (Unfortunately, yes.)
*what you would and wouldn't do for love or more. (Oh, yeah)
*how to live alone even if you don't like it. (I used to be Miss Independent)
*who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally. (still learning)
* where to go ( be it your bestfriend's kitchen or a charming inn hidden in the woods) when your soul needs searching. (Definitely!)
*what you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month or a year. (Check)
*why they say life begins at 30. (Check, check, check!)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Love Knows No Cultural Boundaries
Never in my wildest childhood dreams did it occur to me, that I would someday travel thousands of miles away from home and meet my prince in a far, far away land. I've always thought that my knight in shining armor would be someone from my own country with the same culture, who eats the same food and speak the same language. I preferred it that way, since I thought that the connection and understanding between us would be better.
I came to the United States several years ago armed with that thought. Even though I was coming to a foreign soil, I hoped and prayed that I would still meet someone from my own land.
Somewhere along the way however, I met a guy with a different culture who opened my eyes to an entirely new way of thinking. He showed me that love knows no cultural or racial boundaries. We might each have different skin colors, eat different foods or observe different traditions, but deep inside, we're all humans who have the same ability to love, care for and connect with other human beings. It doesn't matter where you're from, the emotions that run through all our veins are the same. Although my relationship with him ended, I learned so much from him. He taught me, more than anything, to be more open-minded.
And so, I found happy ending in my real destined prince from this faraway land. Sure, he loves pizza and I love rice, he's crazy about football and I don't understand a thing about it, I speak a language he has no clue about, but... love holds us firm and strong. The truth is, we are much more similar than we are different. We have the same religious belief (which is that, we believe in God but not so much in religion), we both love to travel and hike, we agree on how to handle our finances, and we have the same visions for the future. More than that, he has all the qualities I look for in a guy... gorgeous, very smart, completely sweet, loves me unconditionally, knows how and when to say sorry, does his share of household chores... heck, what more can I ask for? His family even loves me like their own and make me feel like I really belong!
But most importantly, he and I have high respect for each other's cultures and has no difficulty on blending the two in our one shared life.
We still get the look from narrow-minded people occasionally (which I'm sure would also happen when I take him to the Philippines). But who cares? I know one thing for sure...
Love knows no racial or cultural boundaries. In fact, love knows NO boundaries.
I came to the United States several years ago armed with that thought. Even though I was coming to a foreign soil, I hoped and prayed that I would still meet someone from my own land.
Somewhere along the way however, I met a guy with a different culture who opened my eyes to an entirely new way of thinking. He showed me that love knows no cultural or racial boundaries. We might each have different skin colors, eat different foods or observe different traditions, but deep inside, we're all humans who have the same ability to love, care for and connect with other human beings. It doesn't matter where you're from, the emotions that run through all our veins are the same. Although my relationship with him ended, I learned so much from him. He taught me, more than anything, to be more open-minded.
And so, I found happy ending in my real destined prince from this faraway land. Sure, he loves pizza and I love rice, he's crazy about football and I don't understand a thing about it, I speak a language he has no clue about, but... love holds us firm and strong. The truth is, we are much more similar than we are different. We have the same religious belief (which is that, we believe in God but not so much in religion), we both love to travel and hike, we agree on how to handle our finances, and we have the same visions for the future. More than that, he has all the qualities I look for in a guy... gorgeous, very smart, completely sweet, loves me unconditionally, knows how and when to say sorry, does his share of household chores... heck, what more can I ask for? His family even loves me like their own and make me feel like I really belong!
But most importantly, he and I have high respect for each other's cultures and has no difficulty on blending the two in our one shared life.
We still get the look from narrow-minded people occasionally (which I'm sure would also happen when I take him to the Philippines). But who cares? I know one thing for sure...
Love knows no racial or cultural boundaries. In fact, love knows NO boundaries.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Of Men, Dating and Love
For women's eyes only ;-)
I'm not a Men or Dating Expert. I'd be honest and say that I did date a number of guys on my search for Mr. Right (as I'm sure most of you did), but I don't think that makes me an expert. I can say however, that with each dating mishap and/or experience, I tried to learn as much as I can, and made sure that I won't repeat the same mistake over and over again. And now that I have left the dating world behind, I wanna share the lessons I've learned (and still learning) about men, dating and love in general. Feel free to add yours...
*There's no such thing as love at first sight. Love takes time to blossom and flourish. Love is when you know the person (really know him... which takes time), and can accept him for everything he is - flaws and all. Dont confuse lust or attraction with love.
*Don't date just because you're bored, afraid of being single or because the guy's nice. Date a guy because you can feel the chemistry between the two of you. Trust me, you'll end up happier.
*Most men are big babies. No matter what age they are. They wanna be cuddled, shown affection and unconditionally loved... but then again, who the heck doesn't?
*No matter what they say, men love to chase (or at least be challenged) and women loves being chased. There's a right amount of chasing though, so be careful. Too many games can ruin what might be a good relationship.
* If a guy is really into you, you'll know. (Remember the movie, He's Not That Into You? So true! And I love that movie, btw!) Pay attention to his actions, not his words.
* Don't waste your time on a guy who's not that into you thinking you can change his mind. There's a 95% chance he won't. Life is too short to waste it on the wrong person.
* Men will always look at, or notice, an attractive women - even if they're already in a relationship. They can't help it, they're inherently visual creatures. But it doesn't mean that they love you less, so don't get jealous. Besides, let's be honest... don't we notice attractive men, as well?
* Men wanna be with women who are attractive to them. They have different ideas of beauty though, so even if you're not Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum look alike... no worries. You're attractive to your man!
* A lot of men don't have an idea of how to really romance a woman the way women want them to. They usually have a different idea. So if you want something, you gotta ask for it. If your guy listens and wants to please you, then you know you've got a good man who loves you.
Ladies, what have you learned from dating?
I'm not a Men or Dating Expert. I'd be honest and say that I did date a number of guys on my search for Mr. Right (as I'm sure most of you did), but I don't think that makes me an expert. I can say however, that with each dating mishap and/or experience, I tried to learn as much as I can, and made sure that I won't repeat the same mistake over and over again. And now that I have left the dating world behind, I wanna share the lessons I've learned (and still learning) about men, dating and love in general. Feel free to add yours...
*There's no such thing as love at first sight. Love takes time to blossom and flourish. Love is when you know the person (really know him... which takes time), and can accept him for everything he is - flaws and all. Dont confuse lust or attraction with love.
*Don't date just because you're bored, afraid of being single or because the guy's nice. Date a guy because you can feel the chemistry between the two of you. Trust me, you'll end up happier.
*Most men are big babies. No matter what age they are. They wanna be cuddled, shown affection and unconditionally loved... but then again, who the heck doesn't?
*No matter what they say, men love to chase (or at least be challenged) and women loves being chased. There's a right amount of chasing though, so be careful. Too many games can ruin what might be a good relationship.
* If a guy is really into you, you'll know. (Remember the movie, He's Not That Into You? So true! And I love that movie, btw!) Pay attention to his actions, not his words.
* Don't waste your time on a guy who's not that into you thinking you can change his mind. There's a 95% chance he won't. Life is too short to waste it on the wrong person.
* Men will always look at, or notice, an attractive women - even if they're already in a relationship. They can't help it, they're inherently visual creatures. But it doesn't mean that they love you less, so don't get jealous. Besides, let's be honest... don't we notice attractive men, as well?
* Men wanna be with women who are attractive to them. They have different ideas of beauty though, so even if you're not Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum look alike... no worries. You're attractive to your man!
* A lot of men don't have an idea of how to really romance a woman the way women want them to. They usually have a different idea. So if you want something, you gotta ask for it. If your guy listens and wants to please you, then you know you've got a good man who loves you.
Ladies, what have you learned from dating?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Taking Risks
Let's say you're traveling on a forest and reached a crossroad where you have to choose between two routes that lead to your destination. One is a safer, beaten path, with fewer obstacles along the way. It leads straight to your destination, but the view is anything but spectacular. The other is a more difficult, longer route but with the most amazing sights you'll ever see and the possibility of the most exciting journey you'll ever go through. Which route would you take?
I'd take the second route without hesitation.
I'd take the riskier and more exciting route because that is the only way to live life to the fullest. Life is too short to be wasted on dull, uneventful moments. It might be more dangerous and you might be slowed down by more obstacles, but then, the obstacles are what make victory sweeter in the end. When you finally reach your destination, your feeling of fulfillment could never be equaled.
I took the biggest risk of my life when I moved thousand of miles away from home to a different, unfamiliar place where I didn't know anybody and wasn't sure if I'd make it. I had a succesful job in my country, a family who loves me, a guy who adores me and a network of wonderful friends. But I left everything behind to pursue my dream of going to graduate school and starting an independent life. It was absolutely tough in the beginning. I spent nights crying of homesickness, but the fighter in me decided to hang on. As a result, I got my graduate degree, found an even greater job and met the true man of my dreams. I've never felt happier and more fulfilled.
And I'd rather take the risks than live the rest of my life asking questions of what if? Life is full of crossroads that require you to make decisions. You might make the wrong ones and fail, but the more important thing is, you took the risk. In truth, the biggest regrets in our lives are the risks we didn't take. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have been or could have had. Move out of your comfort zone. There are only a few things in this world that can never be retrieved, and one of them is neglected opportunities.
The thing is, life is a one way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. So take the more exciting road because you'll never pass that way again. And never allow failure to hinder you from reaching your destination. If on the way, you trip, just get up and move on. Move on stronger and wiser.
Don't allow life to be simply a journey, make it an adventure!
I'd take the second route without hesitation.
I'd take the riskier and more exciting route because that is the only way to live life to the fullest. Life is too short to be wasted on dull, uneventful moments. It might be more dangerous and you might be slowed down by more obstacles, but then, the obstacles are what make victory sweeter in the end. When you finally reach your destination, your feeling of fulfillment could never be equaled.
I took the biggest risk of my life when I moved thousand of miles away from home to a different, unfamiliar place where I didn't know anybody and wasn't sure if I'd make it. I had a succesful job in my country, a family who loves me, a guy who adores me and a network of wonderful friends. But I left everything behind to pursue my dream of going to graduate school and starting an independent life. It was absolutely tough in the beginning. I spent nights crying of homesickness, but the fighter in me decided to hang on. As a result, I got my graduate degree, found an even greater job and met the true man of my dreams. I've never felt happier and more fulfilled.
And I'd rather take the risks than live the rest of my life asking questions of what if? Life is full of crossroads that require you to make decisions. You might make the wrong ones and fail, but the more important thing is, you took the risk. In truth, the biggest regrets in our lives are the risks we didn't take. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have been or could have had. Move out of your comfort zone. There are only a few things in this world that can never be retrieved, and one of them is neglected opportunities.
The thing is, life is a one way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. So take the more exciting road because you'll never pass that way again. And never allow failure to hinder you from reaching your destination. If on the way, you trip, just get up and move on. Move on stronger and wiser.
Don't allow life to be simply a journey, make it an adventure!
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