Why is it always so easy to give other people advices yet so hard to follow your own?
I take pride in being the one my friends usually come to or call whenever they have problems. My friends think I'm a rational person with full of good advices. To them, I seem to always know the right words to say to make them feel better, or come up with solutions to their problem.
The irony is, when it comes to my troubles, I have a hard time following my own advice. I usually know the right thing to do, yet can't seem to do it. Most of the time, I'm overcome with emotions that logical reasoning just fly out of the window. I hate to admit it, but my heart rule over my head sometimes... maybe most of the times. I make decisons based on what my heart feels, not on what my head tells me. Although in some instances, it has done me good, it has been my downfall in others.
I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. A lot of people do, most especially women. The thing is, it's usually easier to see the picture when you're not in it... when you're from the outside looking on the inside. It's easier, because emotions don't cloud your judgement.
So my blog friends, do you have problem of following your own advice?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Quantity vs. Quality
When I was a teenager, I used to equate quantity with success.
I measured my accomplishments by how many competitions I won and how many awards I got at the end of the school year. I measured my popularity by how many schoolmates knew me and how many friends I had. I measured my attractiveness by how many boys asked me on a date and how many guys I have kissed. I was happy and proud whenever I feel like I have The Number.
Years later, I grew up and came to a realization.
It didn't matter how many awards I won unless I win the grand prize. The number of friends I have didn't matter unless they're the true definition of best friends. It didn't matter how many guys liked me if they're not the guys I like.
There are successes that I still equate to quantity today, though. It's not the number of people, money or things any longer, but the number of years. I count the number of years I struggled as a graduate student, the number of years I've been working as a fulfilled chemist and the number of years I was happy with a guy.
Years from now, I will be happy when I can say I've been blissfully married for fifty years now. That to me is a success.
I measured my accomplishments by how many competitions I won and how many awards I got at the end of the school year. I measured my popularity by how many schoolmates knew me and how many friends I had. I measured my attractiveness by how many boys asked me on a date and how many guys I have kissed. I was happy and proud whenever I feel like I have The Number.
Years later, I grew up and came to a realization.
It didn't matter how many awards I won unless I win the grand prize. The number of friends I have didn't matter unless they're the true definition of best friends. It didn't matter how many guys liked me if they're not the guys I like.
There are successes that I still equate to quantity today, though. It's not the number of people, money or things any longer, but the number of years. I count the number of years I struggled as a graduate student, the number of years I've been working as a fulfilled chemist and the number of years I was happy with a guy.
Years from now, I will be happy when I can say I've been blissfully married for fifty years now. That to me is a success.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A Week in Review
Honestly, I feel a little out of sort this week, especially last Monday. It must be my hormones... but I was really moody and stressed out. Things perked up as the week progressed and by the weekend, I was in a good mood. Anyway, here's a recap of my week...
* Called IRS for the third time to check on the status of our first-time homebuyer's tax credit (since I mailed it last April 27). The first time I called them, they said it takes 6 to 8 weeks to process the refund. So I called them again on the 8th week, and they told me it can take 8 to 12 weeks. This week -the 12th week-, I called yet again, and guess what they said? It can take 12 to 16 weeks!!! WTH???
* Work, work, work. Started a new project researching for biocides that I can formulate with our products to prevent the growth of fungi and bacteria. Exciting work, but all these chemicals that I deal with scares me a bit since we're planning to have a baby. I guess I just gotta be extra careful.
* Went to a Hamburger Festival (yes, there's such a thing ;-) ) with Hubs. Good food and good music. Basically, I was happy it was the weekend.
* Discovered a canoe livery 20 minutes away from home, and spent 2 hours canoeing. It was fun, except for the part where we got stuck for 3 minutes trying to get out of the shallow part of the river. I enjoyed the whole thing though!
Now I'm all ready for the week ahead. Hope everybody enjoyed their weekend!
* Called IRS for the third time to check on the status of our first-time homebuyer's tax credit (since I mailed it last April 27). The first time I called them, they said it takes 6 to 8 weeks to process the refund. So I called them again on the 8th week, and they told me it can take 8 to 12 weeks. This week -the 12th week-, I called yet again, and guess what they said? It can take 12 to 16 weeks!!! WTH???
* Work, work, work. Started a new project researching for biocides that I can formulate with our products to prevent the growth of fungi and bacteria. Exciting work, but all these chemicals that I deal with scares me a bit since we're planning to have a baby. I guess I just gotta be extra careful.
* Went to a Hamburger Festival (yes, there's such a thing ;-) ) with Hubs. Good food and good music. Basically, I was happy it was the weekend.
* Discovered a canoe livery 20 minutes away from home, and spent 2 hours canoeing. It was fun, except for the part where we got stuck for 3 minutes trying to get out of the shallow part of the river. I enjoyed the whole thing though!
Now I'm all ready for the week ahead. Hope everybody enjoyed their weekend!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The In-Laws
Whenever we hear of the word in-laws, the first visions that come to mind (at least for me) are Deborah's meddling mother-in-law and weird father-in-law in the show 'Everybody Loves Raymond.' They were representations of how some (if not a lot) of in-laws, including that of my friends' and even my mother's, act towards them. They weren't exactly pretty pictures, and I grew up dreading what my future in-laws would be.
That is, until I finally met mine.
My mother-in-law is one of the best women I've ever known. She has a heart of gold! You can see it by the way she deals with her family and friends. She's very patient and loving. And best of all, she loves me! She definitely acts like my second mother. We talk on the phone every week and I get spoiled on Christmas days and birthdays. She's a really sweet woman with a genuine heart.
My father-in-law is great as well. He gets a little grumpy towards the grandkids from time to time, but he's a very sweet man. We have the same taste in books so he buys them for me sometimes ;-).
They say that when you marry a man, you marry his family. I'm glad I'm married to this one.
That is, until I finally met mine.
My mother-in-law is one of the best women I've ever known. She has a heart of gold! You can see it by the way she deals with her family and friends. She's very patient and loving. And best of all, she loves me! She definitely acts like my second mother. We talk on the phone every week and I get spoiled on Christmas days and birthdays. She's a really sweet woman with a genuine heart.
My father-in-law is great as well. He gets a little grumpy towards the grandkids from time to time, but he's a very sweet man. We have the same taste in books so he buys them for me sometimes ;-).
They say that when you marry a man, you marry his family. I'm glad I'm married to this one.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Restlessness
My mother told people when I was a kid that I'd grow up to be a restless person. This was based on an observation that I couldn't sit still when I was a baby, and that even when I'm supposedly resting in her arms, my feet were still in constant motion.
As it turned out, she had never uttered a truer statement.
Here I am several years later, definitely a restless soul. I don't know why but I always have a burning need to feel that my life is in a constant motion and not settling into a routine. I crave change and am so scared of getting stuck in a rut.
My husband used to tease me about the dreams and plans that I seem to constantly make. It took him a while to realize that I needed to make them to feel that I have something to look forward to. Even when my life seems to be the picture of perfect contenment, I still feel the need to know that my life will continually progress. The worst part is, I'm so restless I can't wait for the plan to come true so I can make another one.
Believe it or not, I always have a five-year plan.
I did come to realize, however, that things don't always go according to plans. Especially as you grow older and things become more complicated and out of your control.
When I was younger, it was easier to follow them. Go to one of the best universities in my country and get a chemistry degree in four years... check. Pass the licensure test in a year... check. Teach for four years... check. Go to a graduate school in US... check.
Although I can still put check marks on most of my dreams now, they don't always follow the path or order I set them to. Somehow, someway, other things happen and I needed to take a detour. I know that's how life is, and I'm very spontaneous when it comes to small things -like where we're gonna go for a vacation, what we'll be doing that weekend, etc -, but when it comes to life-altering plans, I take them so seriously, I just feel the need to plan ahead. And sometimes, it can get frustrating when the plans that you make don't always happen the way you planned them to be.
Allow me to explain.
After Hubs and I got engaged, I made a five-year plan. We were gonna have two weddings, have a baby, buy a house, then have another baby... in that order. But then, the US economic downturn happens, and for fear of the instability our jobs, we decided to forgo a big wedding here and just go to the courthouse and get married earlier. Then comes the first-time homebuyer's credit for people who wanna buy a house this year, and so we decided to buy one, and again, move our official wedding in my country to next year. However, I didn't feel like waiting for almost two years (after the big wedding) to have a baby, and so two months ago, we started trying to have one. So far, we're not having any success and I'm becoming frustrated. I know I just need to be patient, and believe that God will give him/her to me when the right moment comes. All things happen for a reason, right?
Anyway, enough of my silliness. I haven't blogged in more than a month and yet here I am, talking about my frustrations. Actually, most of the time I'm very happy. Married life is everything I hoped it would be. My husband is wonderful and amazing! I love him more every single day. Last week I celebrated my 30th birthday, and I came home to a dozen rozes, a new laptop and the sweetest card ever! He took me to a dinner/dance cruise and had a blast. Honestly I can't ask for a better husband. The last four months have been the happiest of my life. I won't say it's always easy (what is, anyway?), but it's been great most of the time.
I do apologise to all my bloggy friends for being a slacker - especially to AD who wrote me a sweet note of how she misses me during my absence ( I have such great bloggy friends!). My job is taking a lot of my time these days (I work in research so I have to come up with innovative products to stay competitive in our business), as well as our house-to-be and baby (",) project. And also, to be honest, I feel like my mind is in a blog rut. I have topics to right about, but I can't seem to start. I think I might have found the inspiration to write again, so hopefully my blog friends won't abandon me.
As it turned out, she had never uttered a truer statement.
Here I am several years later, definitely a restless soul. I don't know why but I always have a burning need to feel that my life is in a constant motion and not settling into a routine. I crave change and am so scared of getting stuck in a rut.
My husband used to tease me about the dreams and plans that I seem to constantly make. It took him a while to realize that I needed to make them to feel that I have something to look forward to. Even when my life seems to be the picture of perfect contenment, I still feel the need to know that my life will continually progress. The worst part is, I'm so restless I can't wait for the plan to come true so I can make another one.
Believe it or not, I always have a five-year plan.
I did come to realize, however, that things don't always go according to plans. Especially as you grow older and things become more complicated and out of your control.
When I was younger, it was easier to follow them. Go to one of the best universities in my country and get a chemistry degree in four years... check. Pass the licensure test in a year... check. Teach for four years... check. Go to a graduate school in US... check.
Although I can still put check marks on most of my dreams now, they don't always follow the path or order I set them to. Somehow, someway, other things happen and I needed to take a detour. I know that's how life is, and I'm very spontaneous when it comes to small things -like where we're gonna go for a vacation, what we'll be doing that weekend, etc -, but when it comes to life-altering plans, I take them so seriously, I just feel the need to plan ahead. And sometimes, it can get frustrating when the plans that you make don't always happen the way you planned them to be.
Allow me to explain.
After Hubs and I got engaged, I made a five-year plan. We were gonna have two weddings, have a baby, buy a house, then have another baby... in that order. But then, the US economic downturn happens, and for fear of the instability our jobs, we decided to forgo a big wedding here and just go to the courthouse and get married earlier. Then comes the first-time homebuyer's credit for people who wanna buy a house this year, and so we decided to buy one, and again, move our official wedding in my country to next year. However, I didn't feel like waiting for almost two years (after the big wedding) to have a baby, and so two months ago, we started trying to have one. So far, we're not having any success and I'm becoming frustrated. I know I just need to be patient, and believe that God will give him/her to me when the right moment comes. All things happen for a reason, right?
Anyway, enough of my silliness. I haven't blogged in more than a month and yet here I am, talking about my frustrations. Actually, most of the time I'm very happy. Married life is everything I hoped it would be. My husband is wonderful and amazing! I love him more every single day. Last week I celebrated my 30th birthday, and I came home to a dozen rozes, a new laptop and the sweetest card ever! He took me to a dinner/dance cruise and had a blast. Honestly I can't ask for a better husband. The last four months have been the happiest of my life. I won't say it's always easy (what is, anyway?), but it's been great most of the time.
I do apologise to all my bloggy friends for being a slacker - especially to AD who wrote me a sweet note of how she misses me during my absence ( I have such great bloggy friends!). My job is taking a lot of my time these days (I work in research so I have to come up with innovative products to stay competitive in our business), as well as our house-to-be and baby (",) project. And also, to be honest, I feel like my mind is in a blog rut. I have topics to right about, but I can't seem to start. I think I might have found the inspiration to write again, so hopefully my blog friends won't abandon me.
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