Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Understanding Women

I was listening to an FM radio station on my way to work this morning, when I heard the DJ express perplexity over women's behaviors. His wife's Glamour magazine arrived, and he, thinking it was a sweet gesture, encircled pictures of dresses that he thought would look good on her. When the wife got home and saw what he did, she got upset and started yelling, " What's wrong with the way I dress? You don't think I look good in the clothes I wear?"

I started laughing when I heard it, but then realized I'm also guilty of acting that way sometimes! Although I think of myself as a rational and logical person (at least most of the time, and at work or I'll get fired), there are instances when emotions rule my actions, and logic goes out the window. Especially, when dealing with Fiance (Aahh, the things love do to women!). And most especially... during that time of the month!

Case in point...

Him: Babe, can I call you back in a few minutes?
Me: Why?
Him: I'm in the middle of my P90X workout.
Me (upset): Fine! Bye!
Him: Talk to you later, I love you, babe!

30 minutes later, my phone rings ...

Me: So, are you done with your oh-so-precious workout and had finally found the time to talk to me?

Another scenario...

Me: Honey, did you make something for dinner tonight?
Him: I just got out of the gym.
Me: But you got the whole day off, and you knew I'm coming over!
Him: Well, there's still a lot of time. I'll make us some. Do you want chicken or fish?
Me: Never mind.
Him: No, seriously, I'm going to make us dinner.
Me (pouting): No, don't worry anymore. You would have done it earlier if you really wanted to.

Well, today that I'm rational, I can understand why most men (and Fiance for that matter) find women (myself included) to be complex creatures. We have a tendency to overreact and say something else when we mean another! Unlike men, a lot of women's decisions and ideas are governed by emotions. Our minds and hearts are not always in sync, and we let our hearts rule even at times when we know better! (Add hormones to the equation, and we become a mess!)

Deep down though, it all boils down to one thing: we know our men care but we want them to show that they care... by doing things without us asking, and by paying attention to the little details about us.

Jennifer Aniston spoke for a lot of women when she told Vince Vaughn in the movie Break-Up, "I want you to WANT to do the dishes [not because I asked you to]".

Because as illogical as it sounds, that's how it feels that he cares.

And because, as women, that's what we'd do for the men we love.

17 comments:

**Liz** said...

YES YES YES!!! I want them to want to do something. I couldn't have said this better myself.

SheBloggs said...

Good Blog...I know I'm guilty of chumping up the charges so to speak. Right at this moment my husband and I have listening problems, he wants to play with the dog all loud, with 1 phone to his ipod in his ear while I'm trying to talk about something that happened to me, and I say.. your not listening! He's like I heard everthing you said, then tries to repeat it! BUT he didn't show any intrest while doing it, and thats what women need sometimes! A little interest, attention! Geeeeeezzzee!!

Guys are just as complicated, and thick headed! lol

Dark Fairy said...

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Sassy Britches said...

TOTALLY. It's not that they DO it, it's that we want them to WANT to do it without us having to ask/tell. Gosh, I hate that about relationships. I want to MAKE men be that way. But, (and I don't know if it is a cop out or just a new perspective) I've come to realize that men care, they just don't care the same way WOMEN do...women want men to care about women in the same way WOMEN care about women. I don't think it works that way. Bluck, unfortunately.

Laura @ My Thoughts-Uninterrupted said...

Oh - I'm totally guilty as well. Sometimes I do really feel bad for my husband.

Errant Gosling said...

You women are so confusing. :) I love it.

The problem with Jenifer Anniston's quote in that movie was that they made Vince Vaughn into too much of a waste of space; there was no way to care for the other side of the argument.

all i need is love... said...

MENNNNNN!! If I say anymore....aaaghhhh....I don't even want to go there!! :)

Random Hiccups said...

I secretly love the Break up. I secretly love Vince Vaughn. And I totally loved his character in the movie. *sigh*

Bella@That damn expat said...

Uh oh, in our household "fine" is a forbidden word :)

Janine / Being Brazen said...

ha ha ha - I am so guilty of that. Im the queen of assuming and over reacting. My poor Boyf.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for following my blog! I am irrational and emotional a lot! I think it is something us women do!

Jill said...

Lord have mercy girl you hit the nail on the head.

See, I don't think your last scenario was irrational. I too would have thought "You knew I was coming over, why couldn't you have worked out earlier and had dinner ready for us when I got off?" Its because WE would think this way. WE as women tend to put others first, including our men. I honestly don't think its too much to ask for them to do the same every now and then.

However, I do understand they just aren't built the way we are. I get that. Still doesn't mean I'm not frustrated by it. :)

Marissa said...

YES! You hit the nail on the head! I would have been irritated by the dinner scenario too, knowing he'd been home all day. I was annoyed when I got back from a weekend vacation to find the laundry piled high -- I asked my boyfriend (we live together) what he did all weekend, and he said, "nothing. I relaxed." And then I proceeded to get angry with him for not realizing the laundry needed to be done, and letting it sit there and pile up so I could do it when I got back home!

I know we can be irrational, and we're governed by feelings, but is it so hard for guys to be a little more emotionally sensitive?? Haha.

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! Oh my, have I had a few of those conversations. Thanks for sharing! haha:-)

Anonymous said...

i totally cried during that scene of the break-up. haha. it was just all too relatable. and eventually we broke up. :)

im constantly feeling i have to keep my emotions in check.. good post!

Moi said...

this is a wonderful post. I love that movie (the break up) but it makes me so sad. But, you are and Jennifer Aniston are right - we want them to want to help out.

...love Jillian said...

I can totally relate:

Me: How are we going to celebrate the holidays?

Boy: We can split the holidays between our families

Me: But your family lives in 4 different cities across the country

Boy: I know but one year we'll go somewhere different. We can take turns visiting all our family

Me: So basically cause your family lives everywhere and all my family lives in the same place I get 1 out of 5 holidays? We'll just spend 4 out of 5 holidays traveling around to YOUR family?

Ridiculous I know.