Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Leave of Absence

I have to take a temporary leave of absence from the Bloggers World. This pregnancy is taking a toll on me. I'm nauseated and tired all the time, and I feel as though my brain is being drained of its creativity juices. The teeny, tiny amount of brain function left in me, I have to devote to my job... since I've just been promoted to Chemist III!!! But honestly, even the thrill of being promoted, or the excitement of renewing my vows and visiting Grand Canyon in two weeks had been sucked out of me. I can't wait for the first trimester to be over. I want my energy and my mind back!

Anyway, I'll be back, I promise. So please hang in there. In the meantime, I'm sending my love to all of you!!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Wedding

Exactly a year ago today, I woke up with all the excitement of a woman about to marry the love of her life.

Never mind that it was a preliminary courthouse wedding and it was just the two of us, it was the day we'd vow to spend our lives together and love each other forever. I was a quivering mass of happiness and enthusiasm.

That is... until we had thirty minutes to spare before the wedding, and my vain husband-to-be was still putting gel in his hair! I finished taking a shower, putting on my wedding dress, and doing my hair and make-up all in the span of 40 minutes, while he had been in the bathroom for almost an hour doing God knows what, and still wasn't finished!

Naturally, I began to feel antsy, and started to nag him to hurry up. Although the courthouse was only fifteen minutes away from our place, I wanted to get there a few minutes ahead of time. Having been raised by an uber-punctual dad who drags us to parties and events an hour before the specified time (much to our and the host's consternation), I have learned to be always a few minutes early. You know, in case of unforseen situations! My husband-to-be on the other hand, except for our first few dates when he was still trying to lure me in, and for baseball games where we have club seats with all-you-can-eat-buffet, had rarely been ahead or on time.

Apparently, even for his own wedding.

After 10 minutes of my nagging and prodding, he finally came out of the bathroom looking... admittedly, oh-so-gorgeous, it was almost worth the wait (almost, being the operative word)! But given the current state of mood I was in, I'd be damned if I admit it loudly, so naturally, I kept my mouth shut. We got to the courthouse 15 minutes later, but just as I have dreaded... an unforseen situation! There was no available parking space close by! We had to park half a mile away and walk back to the courthouse. Mind you, it was almost time for the ceremony, the temperature was close to freezing, I was wearing a short, white dress paired with a 2-inch high heeled sandals... and now he tells me I have to walk??!! With every "Relax, we're gonna be fine" that the guy utters, I only get increasingly madder.

We got to the courthouse five minutes late, but to another wedding still ongoing. This naturally, resulted to him giving a victorious smile that basically says I told you so.The usherette came to us and told us what a good-looking couple we were, which predictably, resulted to yet another victorious smile from him.

When it was time for our wedding vows, all my irritation disappeared, replaced by an overflowing love for the man I was marrying. Sure, he's a guy who spends a ridiculous amount of time perfecting every strand of his hair, obsesses in getting every cabinet in the house perfectly organized, drags me to far too many family reunions than I care for, but he's also a man who lovingly takes care of me when I'm sick, who spends several hours trying to find my perfect birthday gift, and who calls me every single day to tell me how much he loves me.

Sometimes, I still can't believe it's been a year, and I'm still very much in love and happy. It's definitely not easy, with all the challenges we had to go through, but I wouldn't wanna change anything given the chance. I love this man with all my heart and there's nobody in this world I'd rather be with than him.

Happy anniversary, Honey!!! Looking forward to our second wedding ceremony in two weeks (where... more importantly, I'd finally get to wear my wedding dress)!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Is October Over Yet?

Remember the post I wrote last week about pregnancy experience as the greatest thing ever? Well... forget it, I'm taking it back!

Here's why...

1. I have to pinch my arm countless of times to keep myself awake during work hours, and then when I get home, all I wanna do is crawl into bed and take a nap.
2. I have to force feed myself everyday because I need to digest something for the baby growing inside of me, but everything taste metallic and bitter.
3. I have to stay away from my poor puppy because his smell makes me wanna puke.
4. I have to stay away from the Hubby (or at least order him to stop wearing any cologne or body spray) because cologne makes me nauseous.
5. My boobs are so sore I can't sleep in my favorite position.
6. I get up every hour to go to the bathroom.
7. I haven't gotten laid in almost a month, and probably won't for three more weeks, until we know for sure that the baby's okay.
8. I'm too hormonal (self explanatory).
9. And the birthing process that I have to go through?... let's not even go there for now.

Honestly God, where did you get the idea that women are the one who's supposed to carry babies? Isn't our emotional instability enough indication?

PS. But God, I'm only kidding! I'd willingly go through this a hundred times for the chance to have a child!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Stress Queen

My heart is bleeding right now.

A couple of weeks after I was jumping with joy over the greatest realization that I was pregnant, I was greeted by the news that my cousin's baby died in his wife's womb. The wife was 5 and a half months pregnant when her water broke, forcing her into early delivery. The sad part was that if the incident only happened two weeks later, the baby would have had the chance to survive. As it was, she (aptly named Angelica) didn't stand a chance.

What's even sadder is that I knew how much they wanted that baby. They've been trying for almost 7 years, the last of which were spent in fertility clinics going through IUI's and fertility drugs. They've spent thousands of dollars just to have her! But now, here they are, buying a casket instead of a crib, preparing for a funeral instead of a nursery. My heart bleeds so much for them. I can just imagine the pain and heartache they're going through.

And as someone who's such a Stress Queen (who stresses about being stressed), this predictably had set me into a state of fear. Slight abdominal cramp (possibly imagined) and I start to panic, driving my husband into the brink of utter frustration. The other night I even dreamt that I had a miscarriage, and woke up in the middle of the night crying like a lunatic!I swear off pregnancy books for now, because, my goodness, all they do is stress the heck out of me! Ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, miscarriages... I can definitely live without those thoughts right now.

So instead, here's to happy thoughts... like renewal of vows, endless buffets, Grand Canyon tour, Las Vegas shows, and poolside fun ... all in just a matter of three weeks!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Ticket to Laziness, Moodiness and Brattiness

Being pregnant is awesome! I kid you not, it's the greatest thing ever! It's your license to get out of things you don't wanna get into, and to get the things you wanted to get, but normally wouldn't. In short, it's your ticket to laziness, moodiness and brattiness. All legit and perfectly excusable... because your pregnant!

I don't feel like cooking tonight, Honey, I'm too tired!... 'No problem, Babe. Just sit back and relax.'
I can't clean the house, the vacuum is too heavy!.. 'Don't worry, I'll do it.'
Can you grab me a piece of cake in the fridge? I'm craving for one... 'Okay, Honey.'
Don't argue with me, I'm pregnant!... 'Fine, I'm keeping my mouth shut.'
I think you should get me that diamond necklace, I'm carrying your baby!... 'Sure, which one?'

Being pregnant is wonderful... exhaustion, sore boobs and countless trips to the bathroom aside.

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Power of a Pink Line

Let me tell you something.

Patience is not one of my virtues.

I've been literally trying to hold myself back from spilling the news since the day I found out - for fear that it's all a dream or just a false alarm,- that I sometimes feel like my head's going to explode from all the contained excitement. Well... I decided that before I gross either my neighbors or my co-workers out with scattered brain tissues, I might as well spill the beans!

Drum roll please....

I'm 6 weeks pregnant!!! Yes, you heard it right! P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T, pregnant!!! And the most wonderful thing is, Hubby and I did it without the expensive help of science! Just the tried and tested, old-fashioned baby-making technique!

As some you already knew, we had been trying to conceive since Month Two of our married life. However, after seven months of amazing sex with no luck, we finally went to a doctor who performed ridiculously ASSpensive tests, and told us we have infertility issues and that the only way we'll conceive is through the help of science! This naturally resulted to me crying at every diaper commercials, and becoming painfully aware of how many pregnant Moms there are in every grocery stores or how many crying babies there are in churches during the few occasions that I go.

But whatever. If there's one thing about me, it's that I never give up. Especially if it's something I really wanted. So I wrote a complete and detailed list of all our options... from Plan A to Plan D.

Fortunately, before we even get to the money-draining Plan B, the undoubtedly enjoyable (except for the occasional times when I or Hubs wasn't in the mood and it starts to feel more like work) and natural Plan A worked!

Predictably, I've been on cloud nine since the day that precious pink line showed up in all three of my pregnancy tests. (I just have to be completely sure!) There are times when I still find it so hard to believe. I keep expecting myself to wake up and realize it's all a dream. I've been so used to disappointments, month after month, that my happiness is sometimes still tinged with fear. I know the next couple of months are crucial, as miscarriages are more prevalent on the first trimester, but I have faith. If before I don't believe in miracles, I definitely do now. This is our miracle! God answered our prayers and I can only hope that He continues to do so, and give us a strong, healthy, smart and beautiful baby. Boy or girl... I don't care.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I'm a die-hard 'Friends' fanatic. My love for that show is parallel to my love for shopping, watermelon and all things beach-related. I watch the re-runs on TV everytime they're on (which is like, everyday!), even though I own the complete DVD series. (Talk about obsessed!)

But that's not the point of this post.

The point is that, last night, I watched an episode of Friends where Rachel's a-hole but ravishingly yummy, Italian boyfriend made a pass at Phoebe, while she was trying to give him a body massage. This resulted to Phoebe having the obvious dilemna of whether to tell Rachel or not. In the end, she did, Rachel believed her and broke up with her boyfriend, and everything went well.

This of course, brought me to memory lane and reminded me of a kinda similar scenario that happened back in my graduate school days. I say kinda, because the guy didn't make a pass at me (thank God, or I'd be serving jailtime for punching him in the face!), but cheated on a friend of mine with a questionably hot woman... and I caught him! And also because, my life - despite all my prayers and wishful thinking, isn't a TV show or a fairy tale, and that unlike Rachel and Phoebe, things didn't go well between me and my friend after I told her!

Instead, like a true one-lab-accident-from-being-a-supervillain that she turned out to be, she accused me of lying and being jealous because at that time, she's got a boyfriend and I didn't. (Oh women, why are we so complicated?) She completely cut me off from her life and continued dating the guy. But as far as I knew, it only lasted for another month or so, because the next thing I've heard, they've broken up. I can only assume that she found out for herself what a douchebag he really was.

I thought after their break-up, she'd be on her knees begging for forgiveness and telling me that I'm the greatest friend to ever roam planet Earth. No such luck! For a while, I missed her and wondered if I made the right decision, but then thought... wait a minute, if she were my true friend, she would have trusted me and believed that I only had the best intentions!

So, in my early-twenties Drama Queen fashion, I said... Eff it! She can stick our friendship up her royal butt!

What would you do if you we're in my shoes? Would you tell your friend or just let her find out for herself?

Monday, March 1, 2010

For the Sake of Fashion

The Hubby and I had been walking at the mall for two hours the other day, when I started whining.

"I gotta rest. My feet are killing me."

He looked at my 2 1/2-inch high-heeled boots and said, "Why did you wear those shoes? You knew we were gonna go shopping!"

Oh crap, the guy's got a point! Too bad my brain wasn't functioning when I was getting ready to head out of the door! But... like a typical wife, I'd be darned if I admit that I was wrong, and that he was, for once in his life, right about something. So instead, I gave him the most brilliant explanation I can come up with.

"Honey, these boots make me look taller and walk sexier. Sometimes, you just gotta sacrifice comfort for the sake of fashion!"

And with that, tried to walk as sexily as I can with a slight limp in my gait.