A Tribute to Atom

Before you decide to skip this post, let me assure you that I'm not going to be geeky and discuss molecules and atoms. Atom is the name of my beautiful, tabby cat. (Although, come to think of it, who else but a geek would name her cat Atom? But.... on my defense, I named him after my gorgeous college 'crush' who apparently has geeky parents!)

This weekend I'm giving up Atom to a friend. I'm letting him go with a real heavy heart.

I still remember the first time I saw him. It was four years ago in an animal shelter close to where I live. The decision to go there and adopt a cat was an impulse. An impulse born out of a childish vengeance. A vengeance on a cheater ex-boyfriend who was severely allergic to cats. It was my immature way of letting him know he's never welcome in my apartment ever again, and a desperate reminder to myself that I won't be foolish as to let him weaken my resolve not to let him in my life again (since I really don't wanna be sued if I let him stay in my apartment and he ends up in a hospital :-) ) . Crazy, I know, but when you're high on emotions and pent-up anger, you'd do crazy things. Don't get me wrong, I really love cats but I never thought I'd have the time to take care of one - as graduate school keep me busy enough! But I needed a reason for the Ex to stop pestering me. And living in my apartment heartbroken and lonely, I needed any breathing thing to keep me company. Roommates cause complications so I did the next best thing... get a cat.

Atom was a quiet cat when I met him. Having lived inside a cage for several months, he wasn't used to people. He wouldn't allow me to touch him, would hide in the cabinet and would only come out in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping. I practiced extreme patience, and little by little, he started warming up to me, until he finally fell in love with me. Now, four years later, he'd wait by the door when he hears my keys and wouldn't get off my lap even when I try to force him. We've been through a lot together. I took him with me when I moved to Pennsylvania after graduate school, and again when I moved back to Ohio.

But unfortunately, karma does exist. Who would have thought that years later I would again fall in love with another guy who's also allergic to cats? Once again I'm heartbroken, because now, I've got to give up my beloved cat who's been with me through most of my life here in US! (Ah, the things we do for love!) I used to tease Fiance, ' Hhmm... Atom or Fiance? Tough decision, huh?'

Well, at least I'm giving Atom to a friend. That way I can take him back in case, you know... (I'm just kidding!)

Anyway, to cheer me up, Fiance promised to get me a dog when we buy our house. :-)

Dear Tech Support

A co-worker sent this to me this morning. Thought I'd share it with you to brighten your day, especially the people who put up with my rants yesterday. Thanks guys!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
CNN 5.0, CRICKET 3.0 and POLITICS 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend:
Cooking 3.0
and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck !
Tech Support

Where is the Love?

I grew up having a strong faith in humanity. I believe in the inherent good side of people, until they prove me otherwise. My family had been through a lot when I was young, yet I continued to stick with my belief for several years.

Lately however, some people are starting to make me question my wholehearted faith in mankind. I don't know if it was just me growing old, losing my naivety and facing reality, but it seems as though I'm meeting a number of people who are showing their not-so-angelic sides.

Here are examples of people that get to me...

Gossipers. I've come to realize that people love to gossip. It doesn't matter what their nationalities or genders are (believe me, men love to gossip as much as, if not more than, women), people love talking about other people. I would say in some instances, it's okay... such as when you're discussing a concern about a friend or a family member (though I won't really call that gossip!). But if you're doing it out of spite or envy, please stop. Nothing is more hurtful than gossips that were spread just to destroy a reputation. And a word of advice to gossipers who don't really mean harm but just do it for lack of better things to do: before you start speading the "news" aka. gossips, please make sure you get your stories straight. You might think it's harmless but gossips that were based on wrong assumptions can hurt other people. Better yet, just get a life and mind your own darn business!

Liars/Hypocrites. I used to know an old lady who goes to church every Sunday and prays with tears in her eyes. Then, she goes out to the real world, abuse her maid and do business illegaly. Okay lady, do you honestly believe you'll be welcomed in heaven?

Then, there was a Catholic priest in my old town who preaches so beautifully. Outside of church however, he gambles, drinks and flirts with a lot of women. What the..??!!!

Cheaters. This is one of the worst offenses in my relationship book. To me, it's unforgivable and completely undeserving of a second chance. I had the misfortune to fall in love with one once, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth that took several years to get rid of. So to cheaters out there, why can't you just have the decency to break up with whoever you're with before dilly-dallying with someone else? The pain of betrayal is a hundred times worse than the pain of knowing the truth.

Know It All's. I've got news for you, Mr./Ms 'Perfect': there's no such thing as a perfect person and you can't possibly know everything in this world! Please be respectful of other people's opinions because it's not just yours that matters. People are all equal and you're no better than anybody. Treat others as equals. However smart you think you are, you can't be right all the time. In truth, the more open-minded you are, the smarter you get. Just saying!

Sorry, if I'm being bitchy today. I know I'm not perfect either and I'm trying not to be judgemental, but I do need to vent my frustrations with some people.

Let's Talk About Love

In light of it being so close to Valentine's Day, I decided to join the bandwagon and talk about love. I actually had written a different (and a little sad) post but decided not to publish it right now, and instead re-publish the one I wrote a while back (with some minor changes), which many of you probably haven't seen yet.

I can’t help but smile whenever I see an old couple walking hand in hand.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but in this uncertain world where unstable relationships abound and break-ups are everyday occurrences, seeing an old, loving couple holding hands gives me hope. Hope that not all relationships are as fragile as they seem to be nowadays. Hope that some people can love each other forever and relationships can last a lifetime. Hope that even though relationships take hard work, love conquers all. And hope that I would be one of those few who have that one-of-a-kind LOVE that will stand the test of time.

I fell in love for the first time when I was 24 (I was a late bloomer. I dated before that, I just never fell in love). So in love (or so I thought, but it might just the novelty of first love) that when my relationship ended in betrayal of trust, I was devastated. I felt so hurt and betrayed that even after I started dating other guys, I found it hard to fall again. I was too scared of getting hurt that I kept every guy I dated at arm’s length. I became a serial dater who was too much of a coward to commit. At the first signs of complication, I’d break it off and ran away. In the midst of it all however, there was one guy who patiently guided me out of my shell and taught me to love and trust again. But love has a twisted sense of humor. Just as I was falling in love, life circumstances forced us to let go of the relationship turning me back into the slightly jaded woman I once were.

Then I met Fiance. I don’t know how or why but for the first time in my life, I felt that I could just throw caution in the wind and let loose. As cheesy as it sounds, I felt that I could fall and he’d catch me. The first time I met him, I knew it was going to be different. Don’t ask me why, I just knew and felt it. So I threw caution in the wind, let loose and fell in love. I never had any regrets. It was everything I hoped for. It made me realize that what I felt before him were puppy love(s). Our relationship had been mostly happiness. I won’t call it perfect, but it’s darn well near one. Although there are times when my ‘trust issues’ would resurface, he reassures me so well it becomes impossible not to have faith in our love. We do have petty arguments from time to time, but they never lasted more that 15 minutes. He’s one of the most wonderful guys I’ve ever known. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for. I don’t have a formula for creating a successful relationship, but I know that there would be that one person who makes you feel like you two fit each other like two peas in a pod, and things between you just feel right. That’s how I feel with Fiance.

A month from now, we’ll be taking the plunge into matrimonial bliss. I look forward to it without an ounce of fear (okay, maybe a little!), only with hope…

...hope that several years from now, we would be that old loving couple still walking hand in hand...

30

Did you know that a kiss uses more than 30 facial muscles in humans, and requires significant muscle coordination? (No wonder some people are bad kissers!)

Did you know that a pig's orgasm can last for 30 minutes? (Lucky bas#t%r&s!)

Did you know that if an average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime? (I know one thing for sure... I wouldn't be dating somebody who'd agree to do this experiment!)

Did you know that a snail takes over 30 hours to crawl in one mile? (I wouldn't be surprised!)

Did you know that the oldest dog documented (an Australian cattle dog named Bluey) lived for nearly 30 years before he was finally put to sleep?

Did you know that more than 30% of people who come to your home parties snoop in your medicine cabinet? ( I'm part of the remaining 70%... at least most of the time!)

Did you know that a 30-second Superbowl commercial costs around $3 million dollars?

And finally...

Did you know that people say life begins at 30, so on the 30th of June this year, my life 'officially begins'? ;-)

The Unspoken Rules of Friendship

Imagine yourself stranded on an island, like Tom Hanks in the movie Castaway, with no one to talk to and interact with. You might welcome the peace and serenity for a few days, but after a week of solitary existence, I'm sure you'll start to go crazy with loneliness and boredom!

As the old adage goes, no man is an island. You need someone to share your joys with, someone to lean on and care for, and someone to talk to. That someone doesn't need to be a person to fall in love with, just someone you can be friends with.

In my twenty nine years of existence in this world, I feel fortunate to have found friends who gave meaning to the real definition of the word. They were friends who acted as my cheering squad during competitions and after heartbreaks, my so-called 'accomplices in crimes', my psychologists who analyzes every aspect of my problems, and my supreme court who judges dates and potential boyfriends.

In short, they were friends who made my life easier and happier.

Although I always have lots of male friends, my friendships with women are the ones that stood the test of time. Guys aren't always great at keeping in touch, and friendship with men sometimes causes complications... complications like him falling for you or vice versa, having a jealous boyfriend who can't stand the thought of you being so close to a male friend, or him having a jealous girlfriend who can't stand the thought of you. That's not to say however, that I don't have long-lasting male friends. I do. Most guys are wonderful friends and I love hearing their perspectives on things.

Still, women understand and relate to each other better, and so make truly amazing friends! That doesn't mean though, that women friendships are always smooth sailing. I think one of the main ingredients in having successful ones is following some sort of unwritten girl laws.

These are the top five rules my girlfriends and I used to live by (now that we're all older and miles away from each other, the major rule just seems to be ... always keep in touch!). Feel free to add yours.

1. Be there when she needs you. Oftentimes, a girl friend just needs someone who will listen or a shoulder to cry on, so be one.

2. Accept her for everything she is. A true friendship is one where you should feel most comfortable being your real self.

3. Never compete or fight over a guy. It's not worth it. Boyfriends come and go, but true friends stick together though the end of time. (And that brings me to not neglecting your friends the minute you found a boyfriend!)

4. Never date your friend's ex. He might be an ex, but he's definitely off limits. How would you feel if your friend who knows most of the gory details of your past relationship dates the guy who's the main character of those stories? (Some people might not agree with me on this, but trust me, it's better!)

5. Be honest. I'm always an advocate of honesty, because I'd rather get hurt knowing the truth than feel like a fool later for being lied to. That basically includes telling me if you saw my boyfriend with another woman or if you caught him lying to me!

Friends are one of the greatest things in this world. As Edna Buchanan quoted, 'friends are family that WE CHOOSE for ourselves.' Enough said!

Taking Technology Too Far

I have a confession to make... I have a love affair with my GPS! I've got a poor sense of direction and I get lost a lot, and so developed an undying love and devotion towards it.

But even if I hate being lost, it doesn't mean I always love to be found.

I was surfing the net last night when I saw an article in CNN about Google's new technology software. The downloadable application (called Latitude) allows cellphone users to share their whereabouts to friends and relatives, and let people track them anytime.

I don't know about you, but I'm not warming up to this idea at all. Sure, I can see its use for your grade school kids and suspected cheater husbands, but I don't see the point of tracking your friends or families' every single move! As much as I love hanging out with my friends and treasure moments with my fiance, I also love alone time. My 'me' time. Away from people, and enjoying privacy on my own. Now, why would I wanna ruin that by downloading a software on my phone that allows them to find me at times I don't wanna be found? Won't it be as easy to just tell people where I am when they call me? Actually, the beauty of cellular phones is that it gives you an option not to answer when you don't feel like it and don't wanna be disturbed. Why ruin it?

As someone who's in the field of science and technology, I find most technological advances utterly fascinating. There are times, however, when I have to say, this is taking it too far.

Lovely people, what's your take on this?

Wedding Plans in Pictures

I know it's long been overdue, so today, I'm finally letting everybody take a peek at my wedding plans!!!

There's nothing I want more than to get married at the beach during sunset ...

wearing my dream dress...

then, dance and party the whole night long....

feasting on this cake (is it too obvious I love everything ocean inspired?)....

and tossing this bridal bouquet at the end of the night...

Then the next day, go off to the honeymoon of my dreams...

enjoying a wonderful, sunny life at White Beach, Boracay...

and exploring Palawan Underground River...

with my gorgeous new husband!

Here's hoping things turn out according to plans!

Of Rejection and Breaking Up

A friend of mine called me the other day, asking for advice on how to break up with her boyfriend. Things between them are not working out the way she wanted, and she feels that she's not in love with him anymore. The guy however, is the ultimate definition of Mr. Nice and so she feels awful about breaking his heart.

I'm not a relationship guru, but my dating history has some of my friends teasingly dubbing me as the 'break-up expert'. After my first disastrous relationship, I developed a phobia of commitment, and so became a serial dater who run away at the slightest signs of complications. I went through a number of short-term relationships for a few years, until I met Fiance. Now, I'm making the ultimate form of commitment... marriage.

I'd admit that I do have some experiences, but even so, I don't think I've ever learned how to break up or reject a guy's advances without hurting his feelings. You can be brutally honest, or you can break it gently and lie about the real reason of why you don't wanna be with him, but either way, you still hurt him - his feelings or his pride.

Because the bottom line is... rejection sucks!

What I have learned though, is that guys take it in different ways.

There are guys who are man enough to accept your decision graciously without causing a scene or making a big deal out of it. They accept that rejection is a part of life, or that the two of you are not suited for each other (they're probably on the same page as you, you just beat them to it), and then move on with their lives.

There are guys however, who can't take rejection gracefully. Whenever that happens, it only strengthens my conviction that I was right in breaking up! I once dated a guy who, afer we broke up, started speading rumors on how crazy I was in bed, when in reality I never even slept with him! And then there was this guy who deleted me as his Facebook friend because I didn't wanna go out with him!

Over the course of years, I've come to the conclusion that it's usually better to take the honest road when breaking up with or saying No to somebody. It's better to say that you don't feel a connection between the two of you or other ACTUAL reasons why you had to break up, rather than go though the cliches of break-up lines made for the purpose of sparing his feelings. Trust me, guys can actually see through the 'it's not you, it's me' or the 'I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship right now' lies (although in my case, those lines are probably true at that time)! Just be honest. A decent and confident man will respect you more for it.

Actually, I've learned my lesson about lying the hard way when, on a grocery store, I told a guy that I was new in town and didn't have a phone when he asked me for my number. God must have been watching and shaking his head because the moment I said that, my phone started ringing! (Talk about awkward!). I was trying to spare the guy's feelings but I guess, honesty is usually the best policy! (Or maybe I should have used a different excuse ;-) )

Rejection sucks, but it IS a part of life (for both men and women, and in relationship or other aspect of life!). As Bo Bennet said, 'rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.'

The Magic of Touch

Fiance was reading leisurely in bed last night, and cuddle-lover that I am, took it as an excellent opportunity to do exactly that with him. He was lying on his back so I laid on my side next to him - with my head on his right shoulders and my arm hugging his muscular chest. He moved his right arm behind my back and hugged me tightly. We laid in that position for a few minutes, enjoying each other's warmth. At that moment, I remember feeling so relaxed, safe and totally stress-free.

I don't know about you, but I love cuddling. Love, love, love it! It takes all my worries away and it evokes a very secure and happy feeling inside of me.

Actually, I do love any form of touching. To me, the human touch is so amazing! I'm a hugger, a kisser, a hand-holder, a cuddler... get the drift? I just love touching! I find it the best way to express emotions. No words are needed, yet you strongly feel the emotion the other person conveys.

Whenever my Dad kisses me on the forehead, I can feel how much he cared about me and how proud he is of me. When my Mom hugs me in a tight embrace, I can feel how much she had missed me. Whenever my friends give me a hug and let me cry on their shoulders, I feel their whole-hearted support.

I know some people (especially guys) are not too keen on touching, so I feel fortunate to have found a guy who loves to cuddle and touch as much as I do. (Okay, maybe a little less than I do!). I hate to confess this, but we're the couple who would probably make other people sick with all our hugging and kissing, except that we don't normally indulge in public displays of affection (I'm not really used to it). In public, we usually just hold hands, which to me is more than enough, as I think of hand holding as one of the most romantic expressions of love! When we're relaxing at home though, we'd sit next to each other, him - stroking my hair, and me - rubbing his earlobes (he loves it - he said it soothes him). He would also ask me to scratch his back - even when it's not itching! (Weird I know, but, I guess that's what he has to settle for, since I'm not very good at massaging his back, ). Honestly, I love how Fiance seems to be the definition of a Manly Man to the outside world but when it comes to me, he's basically a Big Baby. (I'll get in trouble if he reads this!)


Anyway, to me, there's nothing more amazing than the magic of touch! Wait... is this a manifestation of neediness or just me being a loving person? ;-) Are there anybody else out there who's like me?