Of Dreams and Fairy Tales

I’ve always been a dreamer. As a kid, I had visions of what my life would be in the future, which school I would get into, how my dream house would look like, which places I would explore, etc. I had no doubt in my mind that all my dreams would come true. All I needed was determination and hard work.

Career wise, they came true. I studied my butt off when I was young, and as a result, got into the only college university I wanted to get into, was offered a teaching position after college graduation, got into a US graduate school and had a job waiting for me two months before I got my degree.

My love life though, was an entirely different story.

Even though I was raised in an environment where ‘you-don’t-need- a-prince-to-rescue-you-since-you-can-rescue-yourself’ philosophy was constantly instilled in my mind, the dreamer in me dreamed of living a fairy tale life. I dreamed that I would meet my Prince Charming at a certain age, be each other’s first and only love, get married and live happily ever after. I wasn’t prepared however, to the fact that dealing with love life and dealing with career are two different stories. Hard work and determination’s got nothing to do with love.

I reached my planned age without falling in love. It was a couple of years later that I did. And I was happy. I thought, this was it, the realization of my fairy tale. To my naive heart, he was almost perfect… Tom Cruise look-alike, lawyer-to-be, sweet (or at least, sweet talker), and seemingly in love with me.

Until his one unforgivable mistake.

I was crushed. Coupled with the pain of betrayal, I mourned what I realized was the death of my fairy tale story… I would never be married to my first love. This was definitely not how I pictured the ending to be.

But Survivor Me moved on and Dreamer Me re-wrote my fairy tale. Guided by the cliché, ‘you have to kiss several frogs before you meet your prince,’ I met, dated and kissed a number of frogs in my journey to meet my prince. And boy, what a journey! Wrapped up in my fairy tale and armed with a slightly jaded heart, I found it hard to fall for anybody less than perfect, or who showed the slightest indication to cause me pain. I dumped guys for silly reasons, or for fear of getting hurt. There was that cute guy who’s personality is as dry as dust. Or that rich guy with a convertible car and a jacuzzi at his big house but has curly hair. Or that guy who drives a Lexus SUV and completely insane about me but can’t have kids. And then, there was the guy who I liked tremendously but broke up with before the relationship had the chance to grow - for fear of becoming a rebound girl! With each dating mishap, I plummeted deeper and deeper into the abyss that was my lovelife. In the midst of it though, love found its way into my jaded heart, and I fell for a great yet completely wrong-for-me guy. He’s got an amazing personality but our world’s too different that we’re forced to let the relationship go.

That’s when reality struck me in the head.

There’s no such thing as a fairy tale.

Then, a couple of years later, I met BA. I won’t say he’s perfect, but he’s perfect for me and I love him for everything he is. He’s gorgeous, smart, adorable, genuinely sweet, and completely in love with me. We fit each other like two peas in a pod. I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore but if I still do, he'd certainly be the prince.

On my birthday, he gave me a card that mirrored exactly how I felt for him, "Because of you, the world’s brand new. Because of you, I am too."

As we seriously plan the next chapter of our lives, the dreamer in me can’t help but think… maybe, just maybe, fairy tales do exist.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a storybook ending, afterall.