If I Were...

If I were a month, I would be:...June

If I were a day of the week, I would be:...Saturday

If I were a time of day, I would be:…4:30 PM

If I were a sea animal, I would be:...dolphin

If I were a direction, I would be:...right

If I were a sin, I would be:...gluttony

If I were a planet, I would be:…Earth

If I were a liquid, I would be:…water

If I were a stone, I would be:...a pearl

If I were a tree, I would be:…a Narra

If I were a bird, I would be:...an eagle

If I were a flower/plant, I would be:.. a rose

If I were a kind of weather, I would be:...sunny

If I were a mythical creature, I would be:...a unicorn

If I were a food, I would be… an ice cream

If I were a fruit, I would be ... a watermelon

If I were a musical instrument, I would be:...a piano

If I were an animal, I would be:...a dolphin

If I were a color, I would be:...red

If I were an emotion, I would be:.. moody

If I were a vegetable, I would be:... cauliflower

If I were a sound, I would be:…ocean waves

If I were an element, I would be:...zinc

If I were a song, I would be:… Can I Have This Kiss Forever?

If I were a singer, I would be… Leona Lewis

If I were a movie, I would be:...Braveheart

If I were an author, I would be:… John Grisham

If I were a place, I would be:...Chicago

If I were a taste, I would be:... sweet

If I were a scent, I would be:... Victoria’s secret Pink

If I were a word, I would be:… enchanting

If I were a body part, I would be:...eyes

If I were a facial expression, I would be:...a smile

If I were a subject in school, I would be:... science

If I were a cartoon character, I would be:... Little Mermaid

If I were a shape, I would be:...a star

If I were a number, I would be:... 1

If I were a piece of jewelry, I would be:...a necklace

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:...a bed

If I were a car, I would be:...a Lamborghini

If I were an item of clothing, I would be:...a tank top

If I were to choose somebody to be, I would be…still ME.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

In the serious science business, you won't get out alive if you don't know how to laugh and have fun. These are some of the chemistry jokes I got from the net or forwarded by my friends during my grad school days. Thanks to all the authors who knew how (or at least tried) to tickle our funny bones!

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"

What do dipoles say in passing? "Have you got a moment?"

Chemists do it on the table... periodically. (whatever IT is!)

How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he'll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration.

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously, he was drowned and never returned.The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned. The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

A Chemical is a Substance that:
An organic chemist turns into a foul odor.
An analytical chemist turns into a procedure.
A physical chemist turns into a straight line.
A biochemist turns into a helix.
A chemical engineer turns into a profit.


Rules of the Lab:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.
First draw your curves, then plot your data.
Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.
To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.
Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.

Top Ten Reasons to Date a Chemist

I saw this in the web a couple of years ago and absolutely loved it! So, a few months after BA and I started dating, I decided to be silly and sent it to him. I guess this got him totally convinced (... that chemists are the bomb!) since he never let this chemist get away (",).


10. We might name a molecule after you.
9. Chemists know how to handle HOT items.
8. Chemists have all the right elements.
7. Guaranteed to experience great chemistry.
6. Chemists have all the solutions.
5. Chemists are used to exchanging fluids.
4. We are constantly learning and improving our techniques.
3. We have no problem resorting to gadgets and gizmos to get the job done.
2. We are used to pulling all nighters.
1. Who else is better to experiment with, than a chemist???