Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Time Heals All Wounds

He used to be your world. He used to be the guy whose smile makes your inexperienced, young heart skip a beat, and whose touch and kisses made you feel alive. He was the one who, for the first time showed you the world in a different light, and made you feel so beautiful inside and out. He was the one who used to give you excitement in waiting for the phone to ring or for the doorbell to make its sweet dingdong sound. He was the one who calmed you after a strenuous exam, and made you feel that seeing him after class was the focal point of your day.

Being with him made your young heart happy beyond belief, and you thought it would last forever.

But then one day, he did the unthinkable.

He went to a bar during an out-of-state conference, got drunk and indulged in a one-night stand.

When you found out, you were devastated. It felt as though your heart was broken into a million pieces, and your whole world came crashing down. The pain cut so deep you felt like dying inside.
He begged you to forgive him - it was a drunken mistake that he promised never, ever again- and, though, in your heart you badly wanted to, you knew you could never trust him again. He broke the trust you have innocently and wholeheartedly given and there was no way to regain it. So even though he pleaded for days saying he loved you very much, you said goodbye and walked away.

For weeks, you wallowed in misery and shed buckets of tears. You questioned how God could allow you to go through such pain, how would you survive and would you ever fall in love again. Not a day go by that you didn't miss him. He was the first thought that comes through your mind when you wake up in the morning, and he was your last thought before you fall asleep. It hurt just thinking you'll never see him again, yet somehow you tried to be strong.

Gradually, the pain subsided. You thought less and less of him, until one day, you realized several days had gone by without him crossing your mind. You'd go to a place the two of you used to frequent and feel no more ache. You'd even date new guys and don't compare them to him anymore. You no longer jump when the phone rings wishing it would be him yet at the same time hoping it wasn't. You used to wanna cry whenever you hear a song or smell a perfume that reminds you of him, yet now, you feel nothing.

And that's when you knew.. you're finally and completely over him.


This is the story of my first love, which I wrote several years ago. Lesson learned: Time heals all wounds... regardless of how you feel right now.

16 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

You are right. Time does heal all wounds. You don't FORGET, but it doesn't hurt quite as much as when your heart was ripped wide open.


sigh.

Vodka Mom said...

does that mean we're in the same club? You know, the one no one wants to belong to.........

Claudine said...

Vodka Mom - actually that was the story of my first love - a long, long time ago..I did find my one true love and will be marrying him in May. I'm sure you'll find yours too.

Marissa said...

You are so absolutely right! Time does heal. It took me a looooong time (years) to get over my first love, and I remember that feeling of not thinking of him when I heard "our song", not wanting to cry when I passed by "our restaurant", and how good it felt to know I was finally OVER him.

Sassy Britches said...

Vodka Mom's right, you never FORGET. It doesn't hurt as much over the years, but it effects you in ways, large and small, even you don't recognize.

!llegally blonde said...

Oh gosh. There are so many emotions rushing through me right now. I really don't know where to start...

I am very very proud of you. It takes so much strength, courage, disciple and willpower to move on from something like that. I know some people who aren't able to get over it at all. Hands down girl!

I feel for you. Trust truly is like a crystal - once it is broken, it's forever shattered. Though this would make things even cheesier, there is a rainbow always after the rain so keep that pretty face up!

King of New York Hacks said...

Someone else wrote something similar on a different blog and this was kinda my response there.

The healing process is TIME...and maybe these might help as they did me over the years.

"'To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.'"

When I did forgive others, AND then myself...Only then did I begin to grow again. Which leads me to this particular quote from the poem by William Wordsworth.

Splendor In The Grass

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;

I know its not much , but its helped suppress my demons many times....and Trust, 2 quotes.

“If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't follow. I'd be at the bottom to catch them when they fall.”

and...Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.

We are never alone, remember that , I and many have been through the shit, and my hand is always extended for someone like you who is brave enough to acknowledge it, share it, and help others through it to. Sending Honks from NYC ,

Edward

Maki said...

Aw I'm sorry you went through this before. I did also go through some awful times with my ex - but you're so right, time does heal the wounds...

I love this post - so honest and powerful.

Laura @ My Thoughts-Uninterrupted said...

I'm with Vodka Mom - you never forget but time does march on and there is always a reason things turned out the way they did and the lesson learned is very powerful.

Lisa said...

Every situation is an opportunity to learn and grow... it may not be what we want to hear when the pain is new and sharp...

I'm glad you moved on and healed.

I try to remember that when someone does something so horrid to me, it's not really about me... it's about their inability to be decent and kind.

all i need is love... said...

Wow. This post brings me to a new perspective. I married my first love, and I can't imagine how different life would be had things gone wrong and we parted. My only way of comprehending what Vodka Mom is saying is to picture life without my husband right now. And yes, I would never forget him...but life moves on, and you keep moving forward.

NYStateBeauty said...

I think everyone can relate to your story (I know I can) because every other day I hear a friend share of story similiar to this.

Everyone cheats now-a-days and it sucks... it's hard to trust anyone.

But time did heal my wound as well.

Anonymous said...

Hey girl... This is deep... And I am someone who lived through something similar many years ago... And though I amd not marrying him yet I too have found the love of my life...

V

Jill said...

This reminds me of my favorite saying: This too shall pass. I find comfort in knowing time will heal my wounds more than any therapy or new experience ever will. That is a constant, a definite.

Beautifully written.

floreta said...

i like how you write as not first person perspective.. thanks for the reminder. i am still trying to get over someone now and it is getting easier but sometimes i still can't imagine my life without him. it doesn't FEEL completely over..

mske said...

i cant agree with u more ):