Thursday, March 11, 2010

Stress Queen

My heart is bleeding right now.

A couple of weeks after I was jumping with joy over the greatest realization that I was pregnant, I was greeted by the news that my cousin's baby died in his wife's womb. The wife was 5 and a half months pregnant when her water broke, forcing her into early delivery. The sad part was that if the incident only happened two weeks later, the baby would have had the chance to survive. As it was, she (aptly named Angelica) didn't stand a chance.

What's even sadder is that I knew how much they wanted that baby. They've been trying for almost 7 years, the last of which were spent in fertility clinics going through IUI's and fertility drugs. They've spent thousands of dollars just to have her! But now, here they are, buying a casket instead of a crib, preparing for a funeral instead of a nursery. My heart bleeds so much for them. I can just imagine the pain and heartache they're going through.

And as someone who's such a Stress Queen (who stresses about being stressed), this predictably had set me into a state of fear. Slight abdominal cramp (possibly imagined) and I start to panic, driving my husband into the brink of utter frustration. The other night I even dreamt that I had a miscarriage, and woke up in the middle of the night crying like a lunatic!I swear off pregnancy books for now, because, my goodness, all they do is stress the heck out of me! Ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, miscarriages... I can definitely live without those thoughts right now.

So instead, here's to happy thoughts... like renewal of vows, endless buffets, Grand Canyon tour, Las Vegas shows, and poolside fun ... all in just a matter of three weeks!!!

17 comments:

tim said...

whoa, so sad about it.. anyway, let us all believe that once something happen to you bad, it will pay you good. So keep on believing that your cousin will have another 5 children..

~~Mel~~ said...

My heart aches for your cousin and his wife. I can't imagine that sort of devestation after trying for 7 long years.

Try to stay calm. That's the best advice I can give...I know it's easier said than done...so try your best not to stress over every little thing.

DeDe said...

I will say coming from someone who had a miscarriage and then got pregnant again, only to find out I have a gene mutation that can cause stillbirth, late term miscarriage, etc. the stress never goes away. Even if you have the happiest, most pleasant pregnancy ever. Every day there will be something to stress over! My condolences to your cousin and family. So sad.

Kat said...

I'm so sorry for your cousins loss. We aren't trying to get pregnant at the moment but for some reason I've started hearing more and more bad news from people who are trying. My sister in law just found out that she can't have children naturally. It's scares me to death.

All I can say is that women have been having healthy children forever. Fear and stress won't help anything so all you can do is trust that God will take care of you. I can't imagine the stress your under but try to concentrate on all the amazing things that are happening to you right now. You have a lot to be thankful for!

pen.ny said...

Chloe I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with your cousin. Wow. Stay positive. Everything will work out OK:) Thinking of you both!

MrsJenB said...

I am so, so sorry to hear about this and am praying hard for your family right now. As for YOU - positive thoughts, and enjoy your pregnancy! I look forward to following along!

Kelly @ The Startup Wife said...

Really heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your cousin and his wife. I totally know what you mean about when something awful happens to someone you know, how it kind of rocks you and makes you feel unsafe. Big hugs to you and your cousin's family.

Americanising Desi said...

i really am sorry to hear about it all... God willing she will have more kids!

Leona said...

I'm sorry to hear that ><
And don't worry, things will work out.

Getting My Words Out said...

I am so sorry to hear about that.

As for you---stay calm and focus on the positive. Worry does NO GOOD. You're doing the right thing not reading those pregnancy books. I did the same thing-just put them to the side and go have some ice cream!!

:D

JennAventures said...

well I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Bathwater said...

Enjoy your fun and keep your mind off such thoughts, I am sorry to hear about your cousin but sometimes the human body knows what is best.

Be safe and happy.

Mrs Montoya said...

I am devastated by association quite often, too. For the sake of your own sweet pea you have to be mellow and happy. Think of only good things. Las Vegas buffets and shows are a good way to go. Always :) Blessings to your cousin and your family.

MrsB said...

:(

C said...

chloie, very sorry to hear about your cousin. i will send prayers their way. its so sad.

however, it doesnt mean you will have a tragedy also. you must keep your faith that your lil angel is here for a reason and he/she will stay safe inside your incubator!

reading all those books only makes you fearful.. DON'T cuz then you wont mean to but you will apply everything to your own pregnancy.

affirmations work.

give yourself many!

and have so much fun on your vacation... endless buffets? now thats MY kind of fun..... eat some for me!

c

Emily said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin and his wife. Really, I think that's everybody's worst fear and my heart goes out to you all.

Fefita said...

wow. that is very sad. i'm sorry for your cousin, and his wife. but stay positive. stressing out right now is not good. if u feel a cramp, think about the treasure that is developing inside of u. think about good things. try not to stress out. i know its easier said than done, but try for the lil one growing inside of u.