Friday, December 4, 2009

This Thing Called Marriage


Joseph Barth once said, 'Marriage is the last, best chance to grow up'.

I couldn't agree more.

With 30 years of life experiences, I thought I've seen it all, and had grown into a wise and mature woman. I mean, 30 years? That's a lot! When I was a kid, I thought my 30 year-old cousins were ancient! I thought I have learned how to react to situations accordingly, how to handle problems maturely, and how to deal with life in general. I thought I had grown up. But then, I got married.

And boy, was I ever wrong!

Marriage forces people to grow up... really grow up. You learn how to be less selfish and to sometimes put another person's needs above yours. You learn to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return, and to be considerate of someone else's feelings. You learn that things don't always go according to your plans and you won't always get what you want, but still be okay with it. You learn to be more responsible about finances, about bill paying and about prioritization. Marriage has lots of challenges, but you learn to deal with each of them by trying to be strong, and not crying at the slightest disappointment. You learn to speak your mind without being too hurtful and not keep things bottled inside, because silent treatment doesn't do either of you good. You learn that you're not always right, probably just 90% of the time ;-). You learn how to apologize when you made a mistake, because it's not true that love means never having to say you're sorry. You learn how to forgive, and not to bear grudges. You learn how to argue in a nondestructive way, and pick the right battles.

But with it all, you learn to relax and let go of the past, because you have your present life with a man who makes you happy. You learn to appreciate all the love your husband has to offer, and to thank him for every single thing he does for you. You learn how it is to belong, and how to share your life completely and freely.

And best of all, you learn that 'to love and be loved' is the best thing life has to offer.

2 comments:

Jenn said...

great thoughts! more people need to remember these; they know them but it's living by them that is often forgotten.
Thanks for posting :-)

justme said...

wonderful post and a good reminder of what it SHOULD be about!