The Future Doesn't Shine as Brightly

When you have a significant other who passionately laments the deteriorating state of the economy and rants about the status of the government, you wouldn’t wanna nod in agreement (even though you badly wanted to) and add fuel to his fire. You’d end up creating a full-blown inferno. Instead, you try to act as a devil’s advocate (or angel of optimism?) and calm him down.

There are times however, when you feel an absolute need to vent.

So you do what I do.

Vent in a blog.

When I came to the United States to pursue graduate studies five years ago, I only had high hopes and unbridled optimism about my future. I love my country and was reluctant to leave it, but I had to pursue the path to a better life.... for myself, my current family and my future one. Coming to US feels like the answer to my dreams. It’s the land of opportunities. It’s where the so-called 'American dreams' come true. I was so sure a bright future lays ahead of me.

Fast forward to the present.

I got my graduate degree and landed a great job with a good pay. Now, I have a decent apartment, own a nice car, travel here and there, send money to my family, and shop anytime I want.

Lately though, watching the news about the collapsing economy and seeing people around me get laid off from their jobs, I can’t help but worry. I ask myself, how long will this last? Will I keep my job? Will I be able to lead the current lifestyle that I lead?

I’m usually optimistic about life (as I’ve always been blessed in many ways), but the things happening now are making me apprehensive.

How did US get into this sorry state of financial crisis?

I blame people with wealth and in power. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve come to love this country and consider it my home away from home. The love of my life is an American and our future kids will be one. And I do attribute in part, my better life to this country. But I fear that because of greediness of some people in power, misallocation of funds, misuse of resources, US is going down in depression.

And it’s extremely daunting.

Nowadays, I feel that my future doesn’t shine as brightly as it used to. I feel fear, not only for myself but for the kids that I would bring into this world. I feel fear to the point that I might reorganize my entire life and have kids a little later than I originally planned (or hoped). I’ve been though hardships in life before, and it’s definitely not something I would want my kids to go through.

The optimist in me still hopes though. Hope that this crisis won’t last long and US will get back on its feet soon. Hope that even though we’re at it right now, I’ll keep my job, BA will keep his, and we'll save enough money for our life ahead. Hope that our would-be-kids will have a bright and recession-free future in this country.

One can only hope. Here's hoping that... this, too, shall pass.