For women's eyes only ;-)
I'm not a Men or Dating Expert. I'd be honest and say that I did date a number of guys on my search for Mr. Right (as I'm sure most of you did), but I don't think that makes me an expert. I can say however, that with each dating mishap and/or experience, I tried to learn as much as I can, and made sure that I won't repeat the same mistake over and over again. And now that I have left the dating world behind, I wanna share the lessons I've learned (and still learning) about men, dating and love in general. Feel free to add yours...
*There's no such thing as love at first sight. Love takes time to blossom and flourish. Love is when you know the person (really know him... which takes time), and can accept him for everything he is - flaws and all. Dont confuse lust or attraction with love.
*Don't date just because you're bored, afraid of being single or because the guy's nice. Date a guy because you can feel the chemistry between the two of you. Trust me, you'll end up happier.
*Most men are big babies. No matter what age they are. They wanna be cuddled, shown affection and unconditionally loved... but then again, who the heck doesn't?
*No matter what they say, men love to chase (or at least be challenged) and women loves being chased. There's a right amount of chasing though, so be careful. Too many games can ruin what might be a good relationship.
* If a guy is really into you, you'll know. (Remember the movie, He's Not That Into You? So true! And I love that movie, btw!) Pay attention to his actions, not his words.
* Don't waste your time on a guy who's not that into you thinking you can change his mind. There's a 95% chance he won't. Life is too short to waste it on the wrong person.
* Men will always look at, or notice, an attractive women - even if they're already in a relationship. They can't help it, they're inherently visual creatures. But it doesn't mean that they love you less, so don't get jealous. Besides, let's be honest... don't we notice attractive men, as well?
* Men wanna be with women who are attractive to them. They have different ideas of beauty though, so even if you're not Angelina Jolie or Heidi Klum look alike... no worries. You're attractive to your man!
* A lot of men don't have an idea of how to really romance a woman the way women want them to. They usually have a different idea. So if you want something, you gotta ask for it. If your guy listens and wants to please you, then you know you've got a good man who loves you.
Ladies, what have you learned from dating?
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"What is drama but life with dull bits cut out." ~Alfred Hitchcock
Friday, April 10, 2009
Behind the Curtain
- Claudine
- no-nonsense woman. chemist. fashionista. writer-aspirant. occassional drama queen. fabulous Asian. heart of gold. movie fanatic. shopaholic. hiking enthusiast. watermelon addict. couch potato. dancer wanna-be. bookworm. well-loved wife/daughter/sister. Cavaliers fan.
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'I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot! I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in a magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." - Jack London
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9 comments:
i'm SO glad you are a sensible woman and don't believe in love at first sight! :) cheers to you.
also, the bit about not wasting your time on guys that aren't into you (the wrong guy) is pretty much why i don't waste my time with exes even though initially it can be hard not to..
If you talk too long or use words that are too big, they lose interest. Keep it short and to the point; if you can use words of less than two syllables, that's even better.
i m so sad now :(
Such a good post! So many key points that we should keep in mind.
The other thing I've learned, is that sometimes you just have to go with your gut instinct. If you have some major doubts but aren't sure why, if you stick around long enough, you'll find them.
And also - sometimes relationships happen without you realising it. They're the good ones.
=) x
Great great post dear. In addition to that I'd just like to say, "the quickest way to a man's heart is through is stomach."--- that quote holds true for me. =)
The best lesson I've ever learned is that you cannot MAKE someone love you. You can't change them, and you definitely shoudn't try to change YOU. Either they love you or they don't.
first of all, thank you dear chloie for all the kind comments left on my posts lately. you are a sweet and lovely person.
these sound like good lessons learned. i have only been with one man [i hear and see fainting out there!] but its true. and although we were together for 22 years, it ended. it ended because one of us began to grow [me] and he didnt. so my lesson to share is to expect the guy [or girl] you're with to be somewhat equal to you both emotionally, and intellectually. look for another soul most like yourself. compatability is key to achieving the same goals and dreams. specially when it comes to how they feel about kids. do you have the same standards and belief system in place to love that child gently and in a healthy fashion?
being that i am a lesbian, i have to interject that it is NO different in the dating world between same sexes as it is in the hetero world. everyone wants love and affection. you got your cheaters and assholes on both sides. i guess one priority for me is to be able to talk to eachother as if you are best friends. if he can only talk among his buddies, theres something wrong. probly emotionally unavailable.
i must admit i thought it was love at first sight with my ex-husband, but in retrospect, i think he was what i thought i needed as i had NO clue what a healthy relationship was about. NO CLUE.
we all do our best to find what we need. its also important to find our own happiness inside us, be totally self sufficient, be complete inside, before being in a serious relationship. cuz if you arent, you will always be trying to find your self esteem and happiness in someone else. when really, its right there inside each one of us. i think the 2 people need to be whole and then share from that wholeness.
ay, what do i know anyway...
C
So true.Do drop by my blog 2 n c my poem.
I've learned that I don't enjoy it. And I desperately wish prince charming will find me so I don't have to work hard at it!
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