Emotions and Moodiness

If there's a dictionary of people counterparts of words, I guarantee you'd see my name under the definition of moody and emotional. I know most women are (especially during that time of the month), but with me, my moodiness is coupled with extreme sensitivity that makes matters worse. I can be happy one moment, then BA or my Mom will say something jokingly which doesn't sit well with me and I'd get mad in a second (and by mad, I mean, become distant and retreat into my shell). The weird thing is, I only do that with people I am emotionally involved with - namely, BA, my family and my very best friends. With others, I'm extremely patient and I usually don't let anything they say affect me.

The crazy thing about emotions and feelings is that you can't help it when it surfaces. At the back of your mind, it probably occured to you that you're being irrational but you still act on what you feel without thinking of the consequences. Then, after you've cooled down and rationalization comes back into your brain, you'd realize you've overreacted.

Ironically, I am a scientist who uses logic and rationalization in my everyday job. The good news is, over the years I have learned to separate my personal life from my career. When I'm at work, I leave my personal life behind and focus totally on my job. I'm a different person who's tough yet completely approachable, thinks logically and has a business-minded persona. But the minute I left the lab and my office, I leave all work thoughts behind.

Then comes the switch to the emotional woman.

When it comes to my personal life, I tend to let my heart rule over my head. My emotions run deeply I sometimes have to tell myself to get a grip, as most of the times, I have a tendecy to overreact.

And I did realize that this attitude was not doing me any good. I end up hurting the people I love.

And so, I've been working on turning over a new leaf. I'm learning not to take offense on petty things and be the fun yet logical woman I present to the outside world. I'm learning to take a deep breath when ugly emotions arise, and I'm learning to relax a little bit when I'm stressed out.

I'm learning, even with the stress of worrying about the present state of the economy, the stability of jobs and the rising prices of commodities, as well as the stress brought upon by the pressure of working in a research and development lab, to instead think of the excitement of my oncoming wedding (even if it's still far ahead!) and the happiness brought by all my wonderful blessings.

Actually, I thank God for giving me a completely wonderful family, great friends and a loving and very patient fiance who love me unconditionally.

I love you so much, guys! Sorry for sometimes driving you nuts with my mood swings...