Quantity vs. Quality

When I was a teenager, I used to equate quantity with success.

I measured my accomplishments by how many competitions I won and how many awards I got at the end of the school year. I measured my popularity by how many schoolmates knew me and how many friends I had. I measured my attractiveness by how many boys asked me on a date and how many guys I have kissed. I was happy and proud whenever I feel like I have The Number.

Years later, I grew up and came to a realization.

It didn't matter how many awards I won unless I win the grand prize. The number of friends I have didn't matter unless they're the true definition of best friends. It didn't matter how many guys liked me if they're not the guys I like.

There are successes that I still equate to quantity today, though. It's not the number of people, money or things any longer, but the number of years. I count the number of years I struggled as a graduate student, the number of years I've been working as a fulfilled chemist and the number of years I was happy with a guy.

Years from now, I will be happy when I can say I've been blissfully married for fifty years now. That to me is a success.

A Week in Review

Honestly, I feel a little out of sort this week, especially last Monday. It must be my hormones... but I was really moody and stressed out. Things perked up as the week progressed and by the weekend, I was in a good mood. Anyway, here's a recap of my week...

* Called IRS for the third time to check on the status of our first-time homebuyer's tax credit (since I mailed it last April 27). The first time I called them, they said it takes 6 to 8 weeks to process the refund. So I called them again on the 8th week, and they told me it can take 8 to 12 weeks. This week -the 12th week-, I called yet again, and guess what they said? It can take 12 to 16 weeks!!! WTH???

* Work, work, work. Started a new project researching for biocides that I can formulate with our products to prevent the growth of fungi and bacteria. Exciting work, but all these chemicals that I deal with scares me a bit since we're planning to have a baby. I guess I just gotta be extra careful.

* Went to a Hamburger Festival (yes, there's such a thing ;-) ) with Hubs. Good food and good music. Basically, I was happy it was the weekend.

* Discovered a canoe livery 20 minutes away from home, and spent 2 hours canoeing. It was fun, except for the part where we got stuck for 3 minutes trying to get out of the shallow part of the river. I enjoyed the whole thing though!

Now I'm all ready for the week ahead. Hope everybody enjoyed their weekend!

The In-Laws

Whenever we hear of the word in-laws, the first visions that come to mind (at least for me) are Deborah's meddling mother-in-law and weird father-in-law in the show 'Everybody Loves Raymond.' They were representations of how some (if not a lot) of in-laws, including that of my friends' and even my mother's, act towards them. They weren't exactly pretty pictures, and I grew up dreading what my future in-laws would be.

That is, until I finally met mine.

My mother-in-law is one of the best women I've ever known. She has a heart of gold! You can see it by the way she deals with her family and friends. She's very patient and loving. And best of all, she loves me! She definitely acts like my second mother. We talk on the phone every week and I get spoiled on Christmas days and birthdays. She's a really sweet woman with a genuine heart.

My father-in-law is great as well. He gets a little grumpy towards the grandkids from time to time, but he's a very sweet man. We have the same taste in books so he buys them for me sometimes ;-).

They say that when you marry a man, you marry his family. I'm glad I'm married to this one.

Restlessness

My mother told people when I was a kid that I'd grow up to be a restless person. This was based on an observation that I couldn't sit still when I was a baby, and that even when I'm supposedly resting in her arms, my feet were still in constant motion.

As it turned out, she had never uttered a truer statement.

Here I am several years later, definitely a restless soul. I don't know why but I always have a burning need to feel that my life is in a constant motion and not settling into a routine. I crave change and am so scared of getting stuck in a rut.

My husband used to tease me about the dreams and plans that I seem to constantly make. It took him a while to realize that I needed to make them to feel that I have something to look forward to. Even when my life seems to be the picture of perfect contenment, I still feel the need to know that my life will continually progress. The worst part is, I'm so restless I can't wait for the plan to come true so I can make another one.

Believe it or not, I always have a five-year plan.

I did come to realize, however, that things don't always go according to plans. Especially as you grow older and things become more complicated and out of your control.

When I was younger, it was easier to follow them. Go to one of the best universities in my country and get a chemistry degree in four years... check. Pass the licensure test in a year... check. Teach for four years... check. Go to a graduate school in US... check.

Although I can still put check marks on most of my dreams now, they don't always follow the path or order I set them to. Somehow, someway, other things happen and I needed to take a detour. I know that's how life is, and I'm very spontaneous when it comes to small things -like where we're gonna go for a vacation, what we'll be doing that weekend, etc -, but when it comes to life-altering plans, I take them so seriously, I just feel the need to plan ahead. And sometimes, it can get frustrating when the plans that you make don't always happen the way you planned them to be.

Allow me to explain.

After Hubs and I got engaged, I made a five-year plan. We were gonna have two weddings, have a baby, buy a house, then have another baby... in that order. But then, the US economic downturn happens, and for fear of the instability our jobs, we decided to forgo a big wedding here and just go to the courthouse and get married earlier. Then comes the first-time homebuyer's credit for people who wanna buy a house this year, and so we decided to buy one, and again, move our official wedding in my country to next year. However, I didn't feel like waiting for almost two years (after the big wedding) to have a baby, and so two months ago, we started trying to have one. So far, we're not having any success and I'm becoming frustrated. I know I just need to be patient, and believe that God will give him/her to me when the right moment comes. All things happen for a reason, right?

Anyway, enough of my silliness. I haven't blogged in more than a month and yet here I am, talking about my frustrations. Actually, most of the time I'm very happy. Married life is everything I hoped it would be. My husband is wonderful and amazing! I love him more every single day. Last week I celebrated my 30th birthday, and I came home to a dozen rozes, a new laptop and the sweetest card ever! He took me to a dinner/dance cruise and had a blast. Honestly I can't ask for a better husband. The last four months have been the happiest of my life. I won't say it's always easy (what is, anyway?), but it's been great most of the time.

I do apologise to all my bloggy friends for being a slacker - especially to AD who wrote me a sweet note of how she misses me during my absence ( I have such great bloggy friends!). My job is taking a lot of my time these days (I work in research so I have to come up with innovative products to stay competitive in our business), as well as our house-to-be and baby (",) project. And also, to be honest, I feel like my mind is in a blog rut. I have topics to right about, but I can't seem to start. I think I might have found the inspiration to write again, so hopefully my blog friends won't abandon me.

A Good Year

This year, 2009, is a milestone year for me. My life has changed- and continuously changes- in so many amazing ways, I could almost believe I'm dreaming. There are times when I just wanna sit and wonder how I got to be so fortunate and so blessed.

This year, I married the love of my life. After a year and a half of being together, we tied the knot and had never felt happier. Although we're still going through an adjustment period, we're blissful and so in love, the transition feels effortless.

This year, two of my papers from graduate school got published in scientific journals. Although I'm not looking for a new job right now, they would look really good in my resume - if or when I decide to do so. My family and my husband are so proud, I feel that my hardwork and efforts in graduate school paid off.

This year, we signed up with Ryan Homes to build a new house. Yes, we're gonna have a brand new house!!! It will be done at the end of September and I definitely can't wait! Hubs and I are so excited about it, we're already talking of furnitures and how we're gonna paint and decorate it.

This year, I'm turning thirty. I know I'm getting older and all, but I choose to see this as a blessing. With age, comes maturity and wisdom. It's a new decade of my life and a beginning of a new chapter. I've accepted the fact that my youth is over, and is more than ready to embrace the life ahead of me.

This year, I will get to see my family. We were supposed to go to my country for our big wedding, but after purchasing our new house, Hubs and I decided to move our wedding a few more months so we'll have more money to pretty up our home. I didn't want my parents to be too disappointed so I decided to just fly them here for the Christmas season.

This year, is definitely a good year.


Sidenote, on an entirely different topic (I just have to write this): I'm not a big sports fan but I love Cavaliers, and of course... Lebron James. He's just so amazing! And tonight, he just showed how amazing he can be! Go Cavs!

I know I haven't blog in a while, but I've been so busy with work and with our upcoming house I couldn't find a lot of time to sit down and write. But I do read all your wonderful blogs, even though I couldn't comment that often. I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend!!!

Transition

When the closest experience you had of having a guy roommate is a one-week life with a friend who needed a temporary lodging, it takes a while to adjust to the concept of permanently sharing a house with someone. Of seeing that someone everyday of your life. Of asking for or being considerate of someone's opinion when it comes to household decisions. Even if that someone turns out to be... your husband.

I've lived alone and independently the last five years of my life. I had boyfriends (one at a time, of course) but I never lived with any of them. I had my own apartment and was happy being the queen of it. I go home whenever I want to, I cook whenever I feel like it, I do household chores whenever the mood strikes. A friend would call and ask me to meet him/her at the coffee shop, and off I'd go. I don't worry about sharing my bathroom or closet space with anybody. I don't worry about another person's taste in the apartment's decoration. In fact, as selfish as it sounds, when I'm home, I worry about nobody else but me.

Getting married and moving in together changed all that. But as much as I expected the changes, transitioning from a single life to a married one still caught me a bit off guard. I've been so used to living by myself that sometimes it doesn't register right away that not all the closet spaces are mine, that I can't just throw my clothes wherever I want to - even when I'm tired (because my husband is a cleanliness-freak), nor can I decorate my apartment with floral designs. I also do need to call my husband if I wanna work late or go out with my friends.

But more than house sharing, marriage is sharing a life together. That means I can't go spending all my money on clothes or leisurely travel on a whim anymore... because I have a future house and family to think of!

Sure, it takes only 15 minutes and a piece of paper to legally change your status from a single to a married lady, but it takes a few weeks, maybe months, for the i'm-a-married-woman-mindset to take effect!

But.... I wouldn't trade my life now for anything in the world. I felt that I've matured and officially became an adult. I'm learning to be a part of a couple, and I feel how it is to really belong. I'm learning to think more for the future that we (not just I) are planning to build. And believe it or not, I'm learning to be more domesticated. For some reasons, I'm starting to truly enjoy it. My husband makes it easier and more fun by sharing the household chores. And frankly, I coudn't wish for a better life than this!

Like most things in life, transition isn't always easy. But when you're blissful, it feels effortless.

30 Things

Just in time for my fast approaching 30th birthday (in a couple of months), I found this article written by Pamela Satran way back in 1997 (Glamour Magazine). I read it and fell in love with it. Just wanna share it with you...

30 Things a Woman Should Have... and Should Know by the Time She's 30....

SHOULD HAVE
* one old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come. (I love to believe I do)
*enough money within your control to move out and rent a place of your own, even if you never want to or need to. (Check)
* something perfect to wear if the employer or the man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. (Always)
*a purse, suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying. (Check)
* a youth you're contented to move beyond. (Fine!)
* a past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age. (I think so!)
*the realization that you're actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it. (Working on it)
*a set of screw driver, cordless drill and a black lace underwear. (Check)
*one friend who always make you laugh and one who lets your cry. (Check)
*a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (Check)
*eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored. (Not really a good cook, so I'll pass ;-) )
* a resume that is not in the least bit padded. (Check)
*a feeling of control over your destiny. (A little bit)
* a skin regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30. (Kinda... if only I'd move my lazy butt more often to exercise)
*a solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those facets of life that do get better. (Check)

SHOULD KNOW
*how to fall in love without losing yourself. (Kinda... )
*how you feel about having kids. (Definitely)
* how to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. (still hazy on the last one)
*when to try harder and when to walk away. (Kinda)
* how to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next. (Heck, yeah!)
*how to have a good time at a party you'd never chose to attend. (Check)
* how to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it. (Check)
*that you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents. (Check)
* that your childhood may not have been perfect but it's over. (Unfortunately, yes.)
*what you would and wouldn't do for love or more. (Oh, yeah)
*how to live alone even if you don't like it. (I used to be Miss Independent)
*who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally. (still learning)
* where to go ( be it your bestfriend's kitchen or a charming inn hidden in the woods) when your soul needs searching. (Definitely!)
*what you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month or a year. (Check)
*why they say life begins at 30. (Check, check, check!)